Does God Really Cause ALL Things to Work Together for Good? Sarah Griffiths Hu

In this episode of Just Talking About Jesus, Sarah Griffiths Hu shares her compelling journey of faith, healing, and redemption. Coming to Christ at the age of six, she grew up with a heart for Jesus. However, after experiencing assault in her teenage years, she drifted from God, choosing a lifestyle of partying. It wasn't until meeting her husband that she found her way back to faith. Through a touching sermon, Sarah reclaimed her identity as God's lost lamb, embracing the strength to share her testimony and inspire others with her story of holy boldness.

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Transcript

Jan: Everybody, welcome to Just Talking About Jesus. I have my friend Sarah Griffiths Hu here today to join us. Welcome.

Sarah: Thank you.

Jan: Really nice to have you here. I'm just interested in hearing your story. You got some. Some things God's been teaching you along the way of life, for sure.

Sarah: Yes, for sure.

Jan: And things that a lot of us go through. So it's going to be a good talk. Let's just start out. Tell me something about your testimony. You just always been a Christian? You just like, grew up that way or you came. You did and then went away, came back.

Sarah: What's your story? Yeah, for sure. So I came to Christ when I was six with my mom, and she sat me down. I asked her if she would help me know Jesus. And she did. And growing up, I just had a huge heart for Jesus. And I knew that he had called me to speak. And as a young girl, my mom used to speak at women's conferences and events and things like that. So I knew that he tugged at my heart to do that. But when I was in my teen years, I was the victim of assault. And rather than talking about it, I hid it. And I felt like if I. And I thought for sure I couldn't tell this story. So if there's. If I couldn't tell that story, then there's no story to tell. And so I started wandering away from God very quickly and living a partying lifestyle. One that I thought I'm gonna take control so that I can show no fear. Which did the exact opposite and created a lot of fear and a lot of anxiety and a lot of shame and guilt and doubt. But when I met my husband, we. I had already, by that point, at the young, ripe old age of, let me think here, 20, I'd sworn off men and said that even if I am single to the ripe old age of 30, I will never once, never again will I date anyone. But God had other plans. So he introduced me to my husband, who had himself just started going back to church. So for our second date, he brought me to church.

Jan: Yeah.

Sarah: And I was so smitten with my husband that I just kept on going. And. Yeah. And one day the. The pastor shared a message about the lost lamb and how Jesus loves that lost lamb. And he was talking. And I loved in. Even in the beginning of that section where, where it says that Jesus sat with sinners and he loved to sit with them and, and bring them in. And that part really struck me. And then he moved into the story of the lost lamb and I related to that Lost lamb so much. And it also drew my mind to a picture that my. I'm looking this way because it's in my closet right now. A picture that sat above my stairs in my family home. And it was a painting that was done for my parents of a lost lamb reaching down. I mean. Sorry. Of the shepherd reaching down to rescue the lost lamb of a cliff. It's quite a popular painting. And I related so well with that painting, and I knew why I was always so drawn to it. And so that is how God brought me back to himself in a nutshell.

Jan: Yeah. Did it through the men that you swore off.

Sarah: Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yep. And. Yeah. And Sherman was. Sherman's. My husband was so patient and kind with me, as different from any other guy I'd ever dated. He's warm, engaging, enthusiastic. I think you might have seen him or met him briefly. Yeah. So it was a wonderful little journey there in the beginning. And I ended up getting married at 21, not the ripe old age of 30. And we've now been married coming up on 30 years in the fall. Yeah.

Jan: Oh, I love. I love how God works. He orchestrates all these things together just to make it the right way, you know, when we kind of step out the way.

Sarah: Yes, exactly. He's so good. And I'm very patient.

Jan: As if you. If you declare that you're just not going to, you know, no more, man. No, whatever. Forget it. That put guy goes, oh, finally she's out of the way. So now I can do something.

Sarah: Exactly. Now I can take her under my wing. And. Well, he was always present. It's just now my heart was tuned to him.

Jan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you could thank him for things.

Sarah: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Thankfulness goes a very long way.

Jan: Yeah.

Sarah: Is that.

Jan: Yeah.

Sarah: He talks about in the word.

Jan: I don't know. I was thinking about being assaulted and that. Holding that back, that whole cause you're shame. You feel like it's your fault. You feel like it's. You know, I'm not gonna tell anybody that happened because I must have had played a part in it, you know?

Sarah: Well, and the thing is, is I. First of all, I was a young teenager and when it happened, and I had snuck out of my house to go meet a boy. So because I snuck out of the house, I was in the wrong for that. For sure. I was in the wrong for that. But what happened next was not my fault, and I felt like it was. And then I couldn't talk about it because I, You Know, went that down that road. And so that's how the enemy. That's how Satan ended up trapping me into guilt and shame. And my. I have wonderful, loving parents, and had I just talked to them about it, they would have sent me for counseling. They would have loved me through it, you know, Got hindsight.

Jan: Yeah. Yeah. What was the. Where was the point where it changed that you felt like you could talk about? What was that?

Sarah: I actually started singing. Now, I'm not a singer. I'm a terrible singer, but a soul gospel group let me in.

Jan: It was that harmony.

Sarah: But, yeah, I can. I can carry a melody somewhat, but I was never, ever one of their featured singers. And they had a segment where they would actually have testimonies. Now, going back a little bit. When my husband and I were dating. Sorry, I have. There we go. Hair caught my glasses. When my husband and I were dating, I had told him there came a point where I knew I loved him and I. And I needed to tell him, but he was the only one I told, and I didn't tell. So he knew that I had a past. He didn't want what my past was. It wasn't until we were actually married when I told him what started the past. And so then we come to this soul gospel group that he and I both sang with. And it was through them, when they had these little testimonies they would do before certain songs. And I felt holy spirit tug at my heart that I was supposed to share my testimony. Now, sharing that testimony meant that I also had to tell my parents because they were going to be in the audience, and if I didn't prepare them. So I actually. I remember how I was terrified, even with my husband there, was terrified to sit down and tell him about it. And of course they were sad. They were not angry at me. They were not dis. I mean, it'd been years, but they were sad for me. And they. Of course, as any parent, being a parent now myself, it's like, how. How could I have not protected you from that? All those feelings come up. I can ima only imagine if I was. If I had to talk to one of my own children about that, how that. How I would feel. So that's how that all ended up coming out.

Jan: Yeah.

Sarah: Yeah.

Jan: And then that takes some holy boldness.

Sarah: It really does. Yeah. A lot of holy spirit.

Jan: I mean, you just fear. Your biggest fear is what are people going to think about me?

Sarah: Yes. Yeah, exactly.

Jan: Jerry. No, God knows it.

Sarah: Yes, exactly. And now he has me speaking about it all over the place.

Jan: Yeah. Yeah. And because of that, you know, because you do, that fear separates you from God as well, you know, and that's parents who, you know, love you and trust you. But I think it's a violation, you know, like you said, you disobeyed what they wanted you to do, and it's violation of. I know I hurt you, but I don't really want you to know how badly. Yes. That or. Or even admitting that.

Sarah: Yeah.

Jan: You were right. I shouldn't have done, you know.

Sarah: Right. Because it's. Yes.

Jan: Younger especially. It's kind of like you're Miss Independent. You can do what you want.

Sarah: Exactly.

Jan: You.

Sarah: You think. Well, really, when you're young, you think you're invincible. You know, I. I feel like it's not until we start getting older and realizing. Oh, you mean bad things can happen.

Jan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sarah: If I'm not careful, if I'm not following what God wants me to do.

Jan: Yeah, yeah. And. And again, it wasn't your fault that the assault happened.

Sarah: No, no. But he used something. He used a sin to keep me quiet. Yeah. He used shame to keep me quiet.

Jan: Yeah. Yeah. I think I shared with you before that, I just published a Bible study. And. And within that, it. I go through the life of David and Joseph, Jonah, Ruth. But in David, I. I focused on grief. But also I included the part about Tamar being raped, you know?

Sarah: Yes.

Jan: That whole depth of that. And then throughout the Bible study, I have personal videos, you know, so when I was in college, I had a professor that raped me. And. No, no, it was.

Sarah: Sorry, just.

Jan: So, like, what is going on? How does this happen? You know, I mean, he invited me to his house to help with his Boy Scouts and, you know, all this, whatever.

Sarah: Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah.

Jan: But, you know, it took years and years. Years, years and years and years and years of feeling. Years and years not saying anything to anybody. And like 40 years later, I was at a concert, I was on a mission trip, and. And the worship time and all of a sudden just didn't. I mean, nothing triggered it from the song, nothing else, whatever. But all of a sudden there's this vision of Jesus standing there with this man on his hands and knees, and he's just like shouting at him, sending him off.

Sarah: Wow.

Jan: Anymore. And it was like all of a sudden, I mean, you can imagine I was bawling.

Sarah: Whatever. Yeah.

Jan: It's like he says, I vindicated you. And.

Sarah: Yeah, Vengeance is Mine.

Jan: Says finally, finally, after years and years of not feeling worse, you know, it was just all like, thank you, Jesus.

Sarah: Wow, what an amazing testimony. Yeah, yeah, amazing.

Jan: But, you know, you just, do you just live with that. And so I'm just gonna say, watchers, listeners, if this is you, you know, God is there, go to him and go to whoever else you need to talk to about it.

Sarah: Exactly, exactly. I didn't go and get help, like any kind of counseling. Now, not everybody agrees with counseling, but I, I went, but not until years after I started sharing did I actually go and get help for that. So, you know, we, we think we're healed, but then we still carry it for a while.

Jan: Yeah, yeah. All these things and they don't have to be, you know, doesn't mean you have to just blab it around to everybody. But, you know, God's going to tell you who to share with and, and what has to be. But people just know that you can be released from this.

Sarah: You absolutely can. And like, and like, you, you had a moment during worship where he released you from that, which is beautiful.

Jan: Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Now other things. Oh, so you had a couple of things going on with your kiddos. You know, one, yeah, your daughter that had problems with her legs. What happened there?

Sarah: Yeah, well, she, it started when she was young and her elbow would dislocate a lot, which is a common thing for young children. But it happened so much. They taught my husband and I how to put it back. That's how often it. It happened. And so it was just a small little bone, not her whole elbow. But then in her teen years, she was spinning her little cousin around by a fire and her patella dislocated and it kept on dislocating. And finally, I took her to the doctor and said, I want to go see someone at Children's Hospital. So that's what we did. And it turns out that she had. She needed major reconstructive leg surgery because she. We now know that she had something called Ehlers Danlos syndrome, which is a connective tissue disorder. And so she was pigeon toed and her feet corrected, but because of the Ehlers Danlos, none of the ligaments or tendons went with it. And so everything was going to continue getting better. And that was the case in both legs. And all the dislocations would continue happening. And so she ended up having surgery for that. And the interesting thing about her having surgery, first of all, I need to say my daughter was a warrior through all of that. She was amazing. She was young when she had her first one. I think she was 14 with her first one and 16 with her second one, which is pivotal years for a young girl to go through. But when I was a child, firstborn, up until just before kindergarten, I needed to be in full. A full body cast at birth because I was born with both hips out of the socket. Nowadays, they would double diaper, I think, but at that time, they put you in a full body cast. And then from there, I ended up having to be in special leg casts going in. And I remember the first time they had to cut those casts off of me. I thought they were going to cut off my legs. I was terrified. And how old are you? I help. Pardon me. How old am I now? I'm 50.

Jan: How. How old were you then?

Sarah: Oh, then I was. I don't know. Three, maybe.

Jan: Yeah.

Sarah: Yeah. So young. Young enough to not know any better. And I remember being terrified that they were going to cut off my legs. So when I went with my daughter to the first time for her to have. They did the surgeries one at a time. So each leg, because each recovery was a very long recovery. When she had that first full leg cast removed and the saw turned on, I just about jumped out of my skin.

Jan: Really, just vibrating, you know, it's not even.

Sarah: I know, but I knew I had to stand there with my daughter and be with my daughter. And she was a trooper. She didn't care. She was so brave. And from watching her bravery, I was able to. God was able to actually heal something in me from all those years of holding on to the fear of even something being tight around my legs. The feeling of being, you know, constricted and. Yeah, so. And then my daughter, when she had to have her second surgery done, we allowed her to make that her own choice. She was 16 at the time. This is her, you know, the surgery, it wasn't a necessary surgery. It was a preventative surgery. So we said, this is up to you. We'll be here as sounding boards, but you get to decide. And when I remember sitting with her in the surgeon's office and tears streaming down her face as she so bravely said, I want the surgery, because she wanted to be able to do it still at Children's Hospital with the surgeon she trusted. And I just was in awe of how she trusted God's timing because she thought, this is what God is asking me to do. And even in fear, she was brave. And that was a really amazing thing to witness as a mom, but also to see her around the same age that I was when I went through everything and have my daughter be so brave. And face something so scary. Yeah.

Jan: Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. It's hard to watch your kids go through things.

Sarah: Oh, it's so hard.

Jan: Triggers from you, you know, from your own experience.

Sarah: It really does. It sets trauma triggers, for sure. You know, things that. That honestly, you kind of forget about until this moment happens. Where is this fear coming from? I just about bolted from the room when that saw turned on. So it's. It's interesting.

Jan: PTSD.

Sarah: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Jan: Well. And then you had something going on with your son.

Sarah: Yeah, See, so. And I need to tell you that my children had given me full permission to talk about these things. I wouldn't be talking about them without their permission. And so my. My son, he dealt with drug addiction, and it started without us really recognizing it. When he was young, at 12, with boys who we trusted, boys who we had vetted. Yep. And families we had vetted. And so. But these things can just happen. And so he hit it quite well. It wasn't the hard stuff. It was stuff he would do when he wasn't around us, but that's how. How it started. And the hard part about that is we were actually homeschooling at the time. So you really beat yourself up going, how did I miss this? Because I had a past. I have experienced stuff, so I should have recognized this very quickly. But when it first started, it was not an addiction yet. And it was just something that he, you know, did with friends off and on. And it wasn't until many years later when that became a full-blown addiction. By this point, we were already aware that there was some stuff going on, and. And we were doing whatever we could to put, you know, all the different measures, taking away all the privileges, keeping him home, doing all the things, all of the things they say to do all the things. And also by this point, he was back in public school. And. But I'm so grateful to God that he allowed me to learn about a lot of this before, the summer before he went back into public school, because had I not found out about it the summer before public school, I would have kept him home, believing that it was the school's fault. And me sending him to school was at fault. But him actually being in school, the reason why we put him back was because he. He needed the structure, more structure than I could give him. And my daughter loved being at home and homeschooling, but also through him being in school, it was a teacher that actually set in motion him recovering. And had we not kept him in school, God could have used many other ways. He's God. He can do whatever he wants to do. But he chose to use this teacher. And I am so grateful that I didn't listen to my fear and keep him home from school and rather just trusted that that this is where he needed to be and that God was leading him in the right path. So it was, it was a long, it was a long journey until he was actually clean. It was a seven-and-a-half-year journey of a long, long journey. I know other families who have walked longer and are still walking it. And so I pray for families often who are still on that road. But yeah, it was, it was a long, it was a long road. Now the, the thing that's really interesting though is when I was praying for my son, I would often pray that God would lead him and guide him and, and, and what God, do what is best for you. But there came a time when I began to worry that God's timing or that God wasn't doing what needed to be done. And I started praying for what I wanted and what I wanted to God to do with my son. And so when this teacher intervened and helped my son get into. Get into detox, and I believed a lie from someone who told me that if my son went into detox and came out early, that he would be lost to me forever. And it was actually a different teacher that actually told me this. And so I began praying for what I wanted. I began praying that my son would stay in detox and that he would stay there the full length of the time. So what happened when he left detox early by two days and I found out that the counselor was helping him pack. I had a complete nervous breakdown from the assault that happened. Everything going on with my daughter, my son dealing with all of his stuff, the trauma of actually all my son was going through. And then having walked with in my teen years with people who were in drug and alcohol and having friends who even passed away from those kind of issues, all of that came tumbling down and I had a complete nervous breakdown. And my son heard it, my daughter heard it. My son was on the phone with my husband at the time from detox. And I just had this breakdown. And it's all because I wanted what I wanted rather than what God wanted for my son. And the truth is, is that when my husband ended up calling back and talking to the nurse, they said, you know, your son's actually a really good kid who is just seeing a lot of stuff in here and just needs to go home. And they allowed us to do the rest of the detox at home. And he hasn't used since he came home from detox. But because I believed a lie and because I prayed for what I wanted, rather than trusting God's plan for my son, it set in motion a trajectory that really wounded my family. For a short minute, um, my son actually thought that it was his fault that I had the nervous breakdown when that wasn't the case. And thankfully, years later, Holy Spirit prompted me to have a conversation with my son about that. And we were able. I was able to tell him the truth, that it wasn't about him at all. And that just so happens that that moment was the catalyst for everything breaking down. But it wasn't his fault. Yeah, yeah, stuff.

Jan: It's tough stuff. It's so hard to watch your kids go through things that are.

Sarah: It's so difficult. It's so difficult. But, you know, walking through that experience has really helped me relate with many parents on a different level. God was able to lead me out of that wilderness experience. You know, short lived wilderness experience, but still wilderness all the same. And then he also taught me how to pray correctly for my son. So.

Jan: So what, how did you change your prayers?

Sarah: So I. I changed my prayers from a what I wanted to what God wanted. And I started actually praying the psalms over my son. So I would take a psalm and like for instance, Psalm 25. I'm just looking at my Bible right now. Psalm 25, for instance, starts out by saying, let me just turn here. It starts out by saying, oh, Lord, I give my life to you. I trust in you, oh my God, do not let me be disgraced or let my enemies rejoice in my defeat. No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced. But disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others. So what I would do is I would take that and I would say, lord, I pray that Anthony would give his life to you. I pray that he would trust in you, that he. That you would be his God. I pray that you would not let these drugs disgrace him. And I would call enemies, would whatever was that thing that the enemy was using. I would say, do not let you know drugs. Or let the enemy rejoice in his defeat. And let no one. Let Anthony, who. I pray that he trusts in you and that he will never, ever be disgraced. But I pray that disgrace would come to those who try to lead my son further into this addiction. So I would pray those kind of things. Yeah. And then I would also live in Ephesians 6 with the armor of God, right? Yes. I would literally park myself there and learn how to put the helmet on myself. The helmet? Yeah. How to put all the armor on myself. And how do I pray over my, my beautiful son who at one point followed God wholeheartedly and these drugs had pulled him away. Now I need to say that my son is now once again following God wholeheartedly. He is now married and he is. Has a beautiful one month old son. And so my story has a happy ending, but there are so many who don't have that happy ending and who or who are living in that circumstance still and are still waiting for their children to either a come back to God, be overcome whatever addiction it is that they're facing. And so my prayer for those parents because is a, My heart aches for them, but my prayer is also that, that they would learn to pray for their children. And I'm sure there are many who are already praying and they're like, I'm already praying for my children. I'm not seeing anything happening. What are you talking about? But I, I pray that they would just hang on.

Jan: Yeah, that's.

Sarah: Hold on.

Jan: Way maker.

Sarah: Yeah.

Jan: Because in the background, even though you don't see it, because the other thing is God was writing your son's testimony.

Sarah: All the whole time. And the other thing, after I had my nervous breakdown and I went down by a river and I was just praying to God and I was like, God, you, you need to heal my son. You need. He said, Sarah, this is your son's choice. You can't make him do this. I have given him the right to choose me, to choose to love me and serve me and I will heal him. But this is his choice.

Jan: Hard words, aren't they?

Sarah: Because we love Rolla.