A Mother's Prayer: Trusting God Through the Storm with Christina Custodio

When God Changed His Mind Christina's book

What the River Keeps Cheryl Grey Bostrom

In this heartfelt podcast episode, Christina Custodio shares her inspiring journey from doubt to faith. 

Once hesitant to embrace a calling she didn't understand, Christina found clarity through a crisis involving her son. 

After experiencing a life-threatening brain hemorrhage and a miraculous recovery, Christina saw the power of faith and purpose in adversity. 

She shares insights on finding one's place in a world of uncertainty and the strength that comes from trusting God. 

Her story emphasizes the importance of accepting our unique paths and the transformative power of using personal challenges to inspire and uplift others.

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Welcome to Just Talkin' About Jesus.

I'm Jan Johnson, a seasoned believer who loves relationships and, you know, just talkin' about Jesus.

Here you will find testimonies of those who God has changed through his grace.

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Transcript

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Jan: Welcome, everyone, to this episode of Just Talking About Jesus. My guest today is Christina Custodio. Welcome, Christina.

Christina: Thank you for having me. I'm excited to have a chance to talk to you.

Jan: I met Christina at the Northwest Christian Writers Conference, and she did some amazing headshots for me.

Christina: You're an easy subject.

Jan: Well, thank you. So that was really fun. It was a great conference too, wasn't it?

Christina: It was. It was wonderful.

Jan: Yeah. Really inspiring. So, Christina, you are speaker, and you've written a couple of books and whatever. How did you come about to be a speaker?

Christina: Well, it was about. I would say, 16 years ago, I. I was attending a women of faith conference, if you remember those.

Jan: Oh, yes, absolutely.

Christina: Yes. I miss those. And I was just. I don't know who was speaking. And I just heard in my spirit, you are going to do this.

Jan: And you're going, yeah.

Christina: And I said. I was like,

do what? You are going to speak to women like this on a stage.

And I. It kind of freaked me out. I knew that wasn't me because it's not something I ever wanted to do. And I literally said out loud,

no, thank you.

I told God no, because I didn't know what.

Jan: That's not the first time he's been told no.

Christina: No, that’s. Right. He could handle that.

But I. I thought. I. All these women have these amazing stories of trials in their lives and faith through it all. And I don't have that. I don't have a story.

So.

No, thank you. Like, that doesn't even make sense to me,

you know?

So I went years, years past, and always in the back of my mind, I kind of thought,

what is he gonna do to me?

To give me a story Every so often that would kind of pop up in my head, like, what is he gonna do to me?

Which is. You know, that's not a very nice thought.

But I thought maybe he changed his mind. Maybe I didn't have to do this thing because, you know, many years passed. So I think it was about six years later I got a phone call after I dropped my son off at the.

At football practice. And they told me he had a headache and I needed to come get him. Cause he didn't need to practice that way. And I went to pick him up.

And it was clear something was more wrong than a headache. He was only saying one word at a time.

He kept saying, home.

He wanted to go home.

And then he. He said, hurt. And he was pointing to his head, and finally he said, help.

And I thought, oh, that's not Normal.

So I took him to the hospital,

and by the time we got there, he was unresponsive. He.

His eyes were open. He was moving involuntarily, but he was not there.

And we ultimately found out that he had a severe brain hemorrhage after some tests. And that's a scary thing anyway. But it was even more scary for me because I always felt like he was going to die at a young age.

I always had a feeling. I don't know where it came from.

It was just something I always felt. I would check on him more than I checked on my girls.

It was very strange. So that evening, I thought, oh, my gosh, this is it. My son is gonna die. But he was only 13.

Yeah. I thought, oh, no, no, it's too. It's too early. We can't do this.

So he had to have emergency brain surgery.

And we were.

We were in the waiting room there. We had lots of friends and family filling that room. And I had to get away for a minute, and I walked out and I went into the bathroom, and I knew I needed to pray because that's what we do in those situations.

And.

But I didn't know how to pray because I thought, well, God's already told me what's going to happen here.

So all I could think of to say was, God, change your mind.

So I just said it over and over. God,

change your mind. Change your mind. Change your mind. I had no other words.

So that was my prayer.

And I got up, I walked out of the bathroom, and I felt perfect. Peace.

I still.

I don't know if it was perfect, but I felt peace.

I knew that we would be okay regardless of what God chose to do or chose to let happen.

I knew that my marriage would be okay. Cause that's often the first thing to go. I knew that my girls would be okay, and I knew I would survive.

And I realized then that that was going to be the story he had for me to tell as a speaker. And I didn't know if it was going to be,

you know, mother loses her son and still has faith, or if it was going to be, you know, he survives. And this is how she dealt with these things.

And thank God it was.

He survived.

And, you know, as we are praying for him, praying for the surgery to be successful, that was one of the things that I promised God and everyone around me really promised God that if he saved him, we would make it count, that we would tell people the story, that we would give him glory for all of the Things.

And that is what I have tried to do since that day.

And you know, there, there's more, there's. We were in the hospital for 44 days where he had to learn how to do everything over again. Walk, talk,

read,

write all of the things and been there.

We learned so much during that time. So I wrote a book about all of the stories,

all the different things, all the ways we saw God during that time and lots of miracles throughout.

Jan: Yeah, yeah.

Christina: So.

Jan: So then. But isn't that absolutely the truth though, is that the people who have stories to tell, they have a story because they went through something.

Christina: Yeah.

Jan: And because they went through something, you get stronger and more faith filled and you see God's grace more.

Christina: Right, right.

Jan: And it spreads and what, what happens to you every people other. And it's, you know, it's contagious.

Christina: It is.

And I did think at some point if I didn't have a story like that, even if my life was mostly smooth and I just trusted God my whole life, that that actually could be a story too because we need those people.

We need to know that it's possible,

you know, to stay on the right path and just trust God. Because there are those people who actually have lives where they just trusted God.

Jan: Hard for me to imagine.

Christina: Rare, true.

Jan: Right.

Christina: I don't think it's common, but those people exist too. And you know, it's.

To know that it's possible to stay faithful,

you know, and just have a faith filled life without all the problems, some of the problems we've brought upon ourselves or some of them other people have brought upon us.

But you know, it's all about how we handle it, what lenses we're looking through.

Jan: Yeah, yeah. And that whole God attitude is everything.

Christina: Absolutely, absolutely.

Jan: Isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And I think even through part of that, it's your story there isn't that part of what brings you purpose?

Christina: It, it does.

And that was something I'd struggled with a lot of my life. What, what am I here for? What am I supposed to do?

What.

Why did God put me in this family or this living situation? And I had, I had a good family growing up and I was loved, I was cared for.

But I was also raised in.

I was raised in a community where I was one of the only black people.

So. Or our family was. And when I went to school, I was generally the only black girl or maybe there was one other or so I didn't understand really why God would put me in a situation like that.

I didn't know what my place was, what my purpose was. I was irritated even though I was used to it. That was my life.

It was okay.

But there were times where I felt like I didn't belong. I didn't have a place,

and what am I doing? What is he doing? Why. Why did he place me here?

And now that I've gone through,

I think I've seen it more since everything happened with my son. Because that put me in a place where I'm able to tell a story.

And not just that story, but a story of my life and how I've seen God work through all the different things,

whether it's who my parents are, what school I went to, who my friends were, whatever it is, I have seen God working in that and how he has used all of it to.

To help me teach others basically how to walk through life. We all have felt at some point like we don't belong.

And we wonder,

well, what am I doing here? Like, what is the point of this?

Why did God let this happen?

Why did he make me this way?

And I've had all of those questions. And even in the frustrating parts of my life,

I can see him and I see why he's allowed those things to happen. There was a purpose.

There's a purpose. He. I don't believe God does things to us. I don't believe that he says, I'm going to strike Jan down with this ailment or with this issue.

I think he allows those things because he sees the bigger picture,

what. What the evil one means to harm us.

God can repurpose,

Right. I believe he repurposes our pain. And he does not waste our pain.

Jan: I think part of it wraps around our identity.

Christina: Yes.

Jan: You know, it's like a lot of times, and maybe just growing up as kids or teens or whatever we're looking at,

what do I look like,

you know,

can I do? What am I capable or successful in doing when I'm looking around to see who else is?

Right.

We're comparing,

right? And I think when we.

It's maybe even worse with social media. But then when we define ourselves by those things,

this is how I look. Or this is my hair. I wanted straight hair. I didn't want literally hair. I wanted it to be, why kind of have,

you know, beautiful eyes instead of these kind of murky,

you know, whatever it is.

Christina: Or whatever it is.

Jan: Whatever it is, you know,

and why can't I do this as well? Or I'm not as good at sports, or I'm not as Good. Whatever it is, you know, you're always looking at somebody that's better and thinking, looking at that reflection on yourself, which it isn't what it should be.

And most of the time, who cares really? You look at it. Nobody really.

Christina: Right, that's true.

Jan: Nobody's really judging you by.

Christina: They're not those things, you know, judging ourselves. And. And that comparison,

you know, I've heard the phrase comparison is the thief of joy.

Because you can't just look at this,

this special way that God made you. You're looking everywhere else.

And he has. I know that he made me and he made you for a very specific reason.

We live where we live.

We.

We know what we know, we've experienced what we've experienced for a very specific reason.

And to look at however it is that whatever it is that we've been through and know that God can use it is everything. It wasn't an. We're not an accident.

We're not accidents. And just to accept.

And I have finally done that. I'm so grateful for all of the things that I've experienced. I'm grateful for all of the things that I wanted to be different growing up, because I was the different one.

And so I wanted to look like everyone else.

But I'm so grateful now that God made me special. He made me different. He set me apart, and he has set all of us apart in different ways.

And I just to.

To say, okay, I get to be me,

right? There's no one like me.

And that is a beautiful thing because then I can share who I am with others and accept myself for who I am so that others can say, oh,

I'm different too.

Yeah, I can accept me for me too. You know, just. Even though we're not perfect to ourselves, we are perfect the way God intended.

Jan: Right?

Christina: And I think about that with my son. I expected him.

After we were in the hospital for 44 days.

I had such faith that he was going to walk out of that hospital perfect,

better than he was before. I'd somehow thought he was gonna tap into some part of his brain that made him a genius.

And I mean, he's a. He was a smart kid always. But, you know, I thought, he's gonna be even better. God's gonna do this thing and he's gonna be perfect.

But that's not what happened.

He does still have some deficiencies. He's still amazing.

But I learned that he is perfect still the way God intended for him to be. Because his story speaks volumes. The fact that he can still that he walks with the limp that he can't.

He doesn't have full strength on his right side yet. He still has so much joy and so much faith.

That is the testimony.

If he had come out what I considered to be perfect,

I don't think his testimony would be as strong.

But he can praise God and he can thank God for his life, even in his imperfection. His perfect imperfection.

That's how I see it. And that's all of us.

Jan: Yeah.

Christina: You know?

Jan: Yeah. Yeah. It's like we're supposed to give thanks and everything.

Christina: Right.

Jan: And he's thinking, really?

Christina: I know, right?

Jan: Really.

But really,

because cares more about how he's going to transform our heart than he cares about anything else. I really believe,

you know,

and whatever avenue he needs to take,

I'm gonna go there with it.

Christina: Yes.

Jan: And this wasn't just about you, what happened to your son. Right.

Christina: That's right.

Jan: It absolutely was you. It was about him. Was it about your husband,

your daughters, your family, your friends, everybody else as well?

It's like he takes one something there and it goes. It multiplies.

Christina: That's right.

And if we allow him to do that, instead of fighting and saying, well, this is not how I thought it would be. This is not what I wanted for my life.

How many times do we do that? And we fight against what he's trying to show us.

It's very difficult to live life that way. So if we trust him and say, God, this is not what I planned, but I trust that your plan is better.

We can walk through this life with so much more joy,

with so much more. And even I was grateful, and I continue to be grateful that God shows me,

while I'm in it,

where he is.

For example, when we were at the hospital,

we had so much support. It was like church potluck every night for the first few nights. I mean, we had a table in the waiting room, and there was just food covering that table.

And this is where it wasn't about us because there were other families who didn't have that. And we were able to share our food with those families who were there with their sick kids.

Jan: Yeah.

Christina: Because we had something they didn't.

Jan: Yeah.

Christina: And I could see it. Then there was another woman that I. There was a woman that I met, and I could see that.

I could tell her shoes were too small and her feet.

She didn't have much. And she was there with her toddler,

and I was able to ask her some questions and found out that she was in need So I just sent a text to our church family and said, this is what this woman needs.

And she got bags of clothes and food and shoes.

And it was, it was things like that almost every day where I thought,

I get it, I get it. This is really hard.

I don't like that we have to be here. I don't like that we have to go through this.

But God, I see that it's not about us. I see where you're going with this. I. So I just kept my eyes open for whatever it was he was trying to teach me.

Us.

And I had joy and I got it.

I was able to have joy because I could see beyond our circumstances and it was the coolest thing. It was just.

Now I get why we can consider it pure joy whenever we go through trials of many kinds. Like James.

Jan: Which doesn't mean that you don't cry.

Christina: That's right. Oh, right.

Jan: I mean,

screaming, yelling, yeah, you still grieve and you still,

you know, go through all the things. It doesn't mean that,

that, oh, now I can totally just walk on.

Christina: That's right.

Jan: You know, in the midst of the circumstance, you know, but, but the underlying is, yes, I can have joy,

but I'm still going to be able to express my emotions.

I'm gonna doubt some things. Even though I know the big T R U S T.

Christina: Is really hard.

Jan: Is out there because sometimes it's a day to day thing that's really, really hard.

Christina: Yes, yes. But to start over sometimes, every single day. And that's okay.

Jan: This is why really, I think that,

I think that in the Old Testament when they're walking through the desert and God says, set up a monument here, set up a monument there, I think that's, I think that's really something we need to do in some format so that we can always go back where the God moment was.

You know?

Christina: That's right.

Jan: I did this here. God did this here. Remember how I did that? Now he's going to do it here too.

Christina: You know, and it might be in a different way, but he's the same today as he was yesterday, as he will be tomorrow. He's going to handle it.

And we've got to remember. And when I struggle,

and there are times when I really struggle to trust the direction he's taking me.

And I just, there are times when I, I will sit and say out loud so my ears can hear it, God, I trust you. God, I trust you. God, I trust you.

Even if I don't at that moment I say it Until I do.

And I remember, I remember the times, like you said,

I have to go back and remember the times he handled it.

Like when Isaiah was dying.

I trusted him with my son's whole life. And if I could do it then, if I could trust him at that time, I could trust him with all the other things that he brings to me.

Jan: That's why that song, the song Waymakers,

that's like,

just speaks to me over and over and over again.

There's things I got going on that there's no way.

I don't see how you're going to do this. God. What, how can anything be good in this? I mean, I've had a five year thing with my grandfather and it's just like,

yeah,

he's working. He's working it to his will.

Christina: That's right.

Jan: And his. And his end game, you know, Right.

Christina: For his purpose. And he does have a purpose for each one of us.

It's just a matter of allowing him to,

to fulfill that within us and not fighting, which.

Which is really an issue. I mean, I.

The times I've told God, no, I mean, really bold,

his grace is.

Whew.

Because I have been very bold and said. I even one time said, I am practicing my free will right now,

said that to him,

what in the world, you know?

Okay, look at Jonah, right?

Jan: He didn't have to go as throw you into the mouth of a whale, though.

Christina: Oh, my goodness, I'm so grateful because good grief, I mean, he should have,

he should have just tossed me into the ocean with a big fish and because I. The boldness that has come out of my mouth.

But I think God understands that too. I mean, clearly,

because he knows we're not ready. He knows. Sometimes I think he just gives us a heads up,

like,

something's coming, this is coming.

It doesn't. You don't have to be ready today I'm going to prepare you.

And all the things we go through, I believe, are preparation for something more.

Not always bigger, but something more.

And so if we can just trust that he's not gonna. He generally doesn't just throw us in the fire.

He prepares us for me. He gave me about six years of thinking, you're gonna be a speaker somehow,

even though I didn't have any idea.

He gave me time to learn, to grow, to be prepared for that. And he gave me a specific story.

Now I've learned so much more since then. That's not my only. I mean, we all have probably lots of stories to share in our lives.

But sometimes it's a matter of when we don't know what he's doing.

I think about Moses when he's like,

I, you know, he was called to free his people from slavery. Like, that's a big job.

Jan: Kind of. Kind of.

Christina: How many of us would want to do that, would want to. Or think we are even capable?

And Moses is like, I can't do this. I don't have anything. And God asked him, what's in your hand?

And he had a staff in his hand. And clearly we, you know, that. We know the stories. That staff was used, turned into a snake. He stretched it over the Red Sea.

All kinds of things.

All that we have is what we have.

And we can use any of it. Any part of our lives, any part of our struggle, our pain.

God uses it. So when we're wondering what our purpose is. Well,

what have you? What do you have? What's in your hand?

What has happened in your life that you can share what's been given to you, good or bad?

Because it can all be used.

Just sharing our stories is huge. Because other people. We're not alone in our stories.

We're not the only ones who have gone through something.

People need to know that they are not alone. So there's purpose in that.

Jan: Right? Right. Yeah. That's interesting, because I had never even thought about that. What's in your hand? Like, really, what's in your hand?

Christina: What's in your hand?

Jan: What is in your hand? That's.

Christina: Wow.

Jan: Powerful. Powerful.

Christina: Yeah.

Jan: What would you tell a person who really,

really is just floundering around, like, what. Who am I? What I'm, you know, what is my person,

purpose? What would be.

Christina: I think even though pray,

talk to God,

have a conversation and say, God, I don't know what I'm doing here.

I need you to show me.

And sometimes he shows us, and we don't like it, and so we kind of reject what he's telling us. I've done that.

But it doesn't matter. Like I said, it doesn't matter who you are, what you've been through,

what do you have, what.

What pain do you carry,

even that God can use it.

He does not waste our pain. We waste our pain.

It doesn't have to be wasted. It can be repurposed.

We do have to get to a place, I think, where we're healed,

where we have scars instead of wounds before we can truly, you know, reach out and share. And that's okay. Sometimes that's. Sometimes we. That's our season.

Jan: Yeah.

Christina: A season of healing.

But I think whatever. Just. We've got to ask God. What do you want me to share? What do you want of me? Is this something that can be used?

I'm gonna just say yes,

because he can use anything. He can use everything.

And, you know, when we. We don't feel worthy sometimes because we think I've gone too far, I've done too much,

there's no way he can use this. Those are his favorite people.

When you look at the people in the Bible,

the big, the big dogs,

those are the. Those were the biggest sinners, right? In our minds. The biggest sinners.

Murders and liars and cheaters and adulterers and prostitute. I mean,

those people are in the lineage of Jesus.

Jan: I know, I know, I know. It's just like, okay, okay.

Christina: Because.

Jan: Because they are his chosen people.

Christina: That's right. He didn't choose any perfect people.

Jan: No.

Christina: If we look other than Jesus and Right. What he had to go through. Yeah. So I don't know that we would want to be that person.

Jan: And even he had.

Yeah, even he had to go through all those things.

I'm sure that when some of those people, like Moses or, you know, even.

Even Ruth going through.

Come on now, really.

I mean, all the men in my life have died.

Christina: Right.

Jan: You know, that's what you want me to do. I mean, you want to do that to me. And, you know,

I mean, it's easy to just get into that, like,

not understanding. But then I think it goes back to where he says to Job,

you know, hey, did you make the stars?

Christina: Right? Right?

Jan: Did you create everything? It's like, you don't think I can handle this?

Christina: I think that's a big part of it, is that we put our own strength, we assign our own strength to God and our humanness.

And it's just hard for us to imagine that he really can. But he's the creator, of course he can handle it. He can even handle our screaming and yelling and crying out, why would you let this happen?

Jan: God, you know, or our two year old.

Christina: No,

right? Or our two year old. No. Temper tantrum.

Yes, I've had that temper tantrums. Yes,

Literal temper tantrums. Here. He can handle all of that.

And I think he wants us. I know he wants us to bring even that to him.

Bring our frustrations, our tears.

He created us with these, with these emotions.

And he knows. He knows it's hard,

but our world is fallen.

Jan: He.

Christina: This is not how he intended for life to be. He did not intend for all of this pain and struggle.

He allowed it and this is how it is.

But he. I believe he grieves with us,

you know, in these times. It's not what he wanted for us.

Shouldn't it be this hard?

Jan: I. I believe that he came down as part man, part God, you know, so he could. So we could see that he understands.

Christina: Right. That's right.

Jan: All of it, you know.

Christina: Right.

Jan: I mean, how would we know. How would we have that?

I mean, really, if you just had God and you really didn't know that much about the Holy Spirit Because Jesus, you know, God sent the Holy Spirit after Jesus died.

Christina: That's right.

Jan: Even though it's throughout the Old Testament, but. But still not for everybody, you know?

Christina: That's right. Right.

Jan: But doesn't it also, you know, if you look at somebody. My sister is atheist, and it's just like, so what do you.

Christina: Where's your hope?

Jan: God? You take God out of your whole life, you know, or comprehension of life or whatever,

how do you.

How do you do it? I mean, how do you not see,

you know, to, to see a bigger picture? Because we have a bigger picture. That's right. Know that this life is not it, you know, and our hope is somewhere else.

And we know that we have heaven to go to. And, and that's really even as much as all the stuff that happens to us and around us. And just a whole ton of thing happened, you know, just one.

Right after the major, major happened. And it's just like,

how,

really, how are you even doing this? Because I don't, I don't get this, you know.

Christina: Right. I don't understand. Because he is our hope and you can't. I don't know how you live. Well, people don't live without hope. They don't live without hope.

Jan: Yeah. Yeah. There's. Yeah. Because there isn't anything to hope in. You know, you can hope in the doctors. Well.

Christina: Right.

Jan: They're not God.

Christina: That's right. That's right.

Jan: And. And even at their best, they can only do what they can do, you know? So what do you. What do you hoping to. I don't know.

Christina: Right. I think. And I, I understand.

It's the whole why do bad things happen to good people? Question.

We hear that all the time. And people use that excuse for not believing in God. Well, if there was a God, why would he let this happen?

Well, one free will in the fall of man. And yes, he has allowed it, but he also sees the bigger picture.

And another example I, I found when I was going through things with my son was.

We were still in the hospital.

You know, he. Like I said, it was 44 days.

And in that time, a woman came in with her son. I think he was a little boy.

And he had the same thing happen. He had a hemorrhage. He had an AVM rupture, which is what it was with my son. A blood vessel ruptured.

And he was there a couple days, and he was getting ready to go home,

and he was fine.

He didn't have any apparent damage to his brain or anything else.

And I got angry. Yeah, For a minute.

Jan: What?

Christina: Like, really, God?

Jan: Yeah.

Christina: The same thing happened, and he gets to go home and he gets to walk and talk and be normal like he always was.

I was so angry. But very quickly, very quickly,

God reminded me that there's another mother who lost her son,

many other mothers.

And there might be a woman who's looking at me saying, well, why did she get to keep her son?

She got to keep her son, and I didn't. And it was then that I realized everybody has a story. Everybody's in a different place. God uses all of it for his purpose.

And I think we. We're just not big enough to see why. All we can do is trust.

And for me,

I don't know that if he had died,

I would like to say that I would be doing the same thing. I would speak and share about the faithfulness of God and how good he is. I want to say that that's what I would do,

but I'm not sure that that's true.

I think in my situation, it needed to happen a specific way so that his will could be done,

you know, in our lives and the lives of other people, through this particular story.

For others.

I've heard, and I have many friends who have lost children and their ministry through that loss is amazing.

And they are helping people and they are touching people.

I don't know that I would have been that person,

you know? So God.

God can do anything with whatever he knows what.

What we can handle,

you know,

always with Him. But we just have to trust the Creator and He can use all of it. And this place is temporary,

right? This is temporary. This is not.

Thank God. We don't have to do this for eternity.

Jan: Right?

Christina: The whole point is eternity. So during this temporary period of time,

we've just got to do the best we can so that we can. So that eternity is perfection. And no tears and pure joy, you know?

Jan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. One day there will be no tears.

Christina: I'm so looking forward to that. And I. I look forward to running and jumping right now. That is not something I can do. That's another part of my journey where I've had some real problems with my foot, and I won't even go into all of that.

But I am coming up on a year of struggle, open wound, and that's a long time.

It's a long time, and I've been frustrated about it. But I have also seen God working through it. The people I have met and been able to talk about God to has been amazing.

There have been divine appointments that would not have happened if I was healed.

So I kind of. At this point, I'm like, okay, I get it. I get why you haven't healed me yet. And it's okay.

Jan: Bring it on. Bring it on more.

Christina: Because I want me to do right. I mean, I can because I trust him, because I know that he's doing something beyond me.

I can hang in longer. I can deal with the pain and the suffering because it's bigger than I am.

Jan: Yeah.

Christina: It's not about my pain and suffering. It's about what he's doing through it. That's what's in my hand today.

My pain and suffering is in my hand today, and it's taking me.

It's part of my purpose. And nobody wants that to be part of their purpose.

Of course not.

But it actually brings me joy. I was able to meet this woman who was checking me in to an appointment,

who I found out wants to be a speaker and writer. And just the day before,

the day before, she had asked God to bring her someone that could help her on that journey the day before.

And I was able to share with her conferences to go to and how she. What she could do to get going. I mean,

yeah, it's things like that that I think,

all right,

it's good I get to help somebody through my pain. And that is.

Jan: I call it. I think they're God winks.

Christina: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So I look for them. I look for those, because that's how I'm getting through. There's a purpose and all of it.

Jan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's just it. They're just those little reminders, and they. They do bring such joy. All right, great. I. All right, I got it.

Christina: When you first read that, that scripture,

did you wonder, I don't know if you remember the first time reading it. Consider it pure joy whenever you go through trials of many kinds.

I mean, the first time I read that, I'm like, that makes no sense.

How in the world am I gonna be joyful about trials?

And it's not that we're happy about it, but what comes out of it is what. Where the joy is found,

what he's doing through it. I mean, it's. It's amazing. It's.

It's a joy. It's a blessing to be part of that plan.

I'm not going to ask for it.

Let's be clear,

right? Let's be clear.

I'm not asking God for the trials, but if they come,

I can find joy in that.

Jan: If they come, you and me, we got.

Christina: That's right. And it will come.

Jan: And the thing is,

Christina, I just think the thing is, it's.

Again, it's not just about you. It's. Your kids are watching you. Oh, yeah, yeah.

People around you are watching you and going,

how did she do that? Look at her. She's joyful in the midst of this,

right? Would God really do that with me, too?

You know?

Christina: And the answer is yes,

if we allow Him.

We've got to keep our hands open to receive whatever it is that he's giving us or allowing to happen. And just, you know, when you brace, when you think about car accidents and you see it coming, you brace and you often get more hurt because every part of your body is clenched and fighting what's about to happen,

right? But the people who are asleep in a car accident or unfortunately drunk, sometimes those are the ones who don't get hurt as much, right? Because they weren't clenching. And I kind of see it the same way.

If we just relax and trust God and let him do what he's going to do,

it's a lot easier. It's a lot. It's not as painful,

I should say. It's not easy,

but it's not quite as painful because we trust him, because we're relaxed. We're resting in his will.

Jan: Any last words?

Christina: Oh, goodness. Well,

I just hope that there's a lot going on in this. In this world and especially our country right now. And I think there are a lot of people thinking, what is the point?

What is the point of all of this?

And we don't really have to know.

I mean, there is actually peace in trusting what God is doing. It seems crazy. It seems outlandish, like,

I gotta do something, you know?

But he is working through each one of us. Every single one of us has a purpose. Some seem big, some are. Seem small.

But wherever we are,

if we could just trust that God is working through us and let Him Let him, because there is joy in.

In everything that he has for us.

And just. Just trust him. I mean, it says it like 365 times not to be afraid. And,

you know, don't worry. And all of that is about trusting him. And we can.

We can. We can trust him.

Jan: Maybe he really wants us to know that. Don't.

Christina: Maybe it's possible that that's a really important thing.

Jan: Last time here, let me say it one more time, a different way.

Christina: One more time. And he says it because he is trustworthy.

Jan: Yeah.

Christina: And if we could just. Even if you don't believe it,

say it over and over again. If you're sitting in a corner rocking back and forth, you know,

I trust you, God. I trust you, God. Until you actually do. It's a really beautiful place to be in,

because he's. He's not going to waste your pain. You can trust him.

Jan: Well, Christina's book is When God Changed His Mind.

And you can read more about that, her story in there and her sons and all those miraculous things that God did with them at that time, just. Just to fill your heart and soul with.

With hope.

And that's where he always comes through in things. So always,

always.

So thank you so much, Christina. Where can people find you?

Christina: They can go to my website, christinacustodio.com and that's where you can connect to all my social media and such. But I do write every single day on Facebook and just encouragement and just connection.

Jan: Okay, perfect. All right. Thank you so much.

Christina: Thanks for having me, Jan.