Finding Peace in Singleness with Katharine Rose

Eternal Echoes podcast

In this episode of Just Talking about Jesus, host Jan Johnson sits down with Katharine Rose to delve into the topic of being single in today's world. 

Katharine shares her personal journey of singleness at 36 and how it has been a path of surrender to God's plans over her own desires.

Despite the common pressures to marry, she explores the idea of finding comfort and purpose within her single status by placing her trust in God's timing. 

This discussion also touches upon modern dating via apps and the overarching need for discernment and faith when searching for lasting, meaningful connections.

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Transcript

[00:02] Jan: Welcome to Just Talking about Jesus.

[00:06] I'm Jan Johnson, a seasoned believer who loves relationships and you know, just talking about Jesus.

[00:13] Here you'll hear inspiring stories from a woman who went from using meth into starting a ministry in Kenya.

[00:19] Or the man who had a life changing encounter with someone in Home Depot of all places.

[00:24] Or a woman who has endured years of chronic pain after having her gallbladder, spleen and pancreas removed. Or every conversation goes deep into how God has changed lives and brought us to a place of surrender,

[00:35] sharing joys, sorrows, and just life in general.

[00:39] We don't have to go it alone because we can go hand in hand with Jesus on our journey. Jesus desires a relationship with us,

[00:47] with you. He wants to know us intimately. Revelations 12:11 says. And they overcame him by the blood of the lamb and by the word of their testimony.

[00:57] That's what I'm talking about.

[00:58] Join us each week.

[01:04] Welcome. Just Talking About Jesus. I have Kathryn Rose here.

[01:08] Nice to have you here.

[01:09] Katharine: Great to be here. Thank you for having me.

[01:12] Jan: We are going to be talking about being single,

[01:19] something that a lot of people find themselves in and have questions about or struggles with or,

[01:28] you know, come to accept or whatever. But yeah, let's just dig in.

[01:34] You've been single for a little while, but you're not like in your 60s, still single,

[01:39] right?

[01:40] Katharine: Hope I'm hoping that won't happen, but who knows? Only God knows.

[01:46] Jan: What are the things that you think about or you struggle with or kind of where are you with that?

[01:54] Katharine: Sure.

[01:55] Well, so I, I am 36. I turned 36 in January and I have been single most of my life.

[02:01] You know, had probably one serious relationship back in college that lasted for three years. Thought we were going to get married, but he broke up with me. My senior year was devastating, obviously, and from that time on haven't really had many real serious long term relationships.

[02:19] And you know,

[02:20] I'll say that being single, it's always been a sore, tender place in my heart. You know, I, I never in my wildest dreams thought at 36 years old that I would be single.

[02:32] I think,

[02:33] you know, growing up I, I grew up. My parents were young when they were single or I'm sorry, they were young when they were married, they were young when they had kids.

[02:42] And so I just thought that, that,

[02:44] that sort of would happen. You know, I was like, that's my view. My, my mom was a stay at home mom, my dad was a provider. And so I was like, oh, okay, this is gonna, that'll be my Life.

[02:54] And obviously, that hasn't been my reality. And I think it's funny, because in my 20s,

[03:01] the mentality was, okay, you know, this isn't ideal, but I still have time. You know, I still have time. There's still time. There's still hope.

[03:08] And then I got to be in my late 20s, and I was like, okay, you know, surely by the time I'm 30, you know, surely I'll.

[03:16] I'll be engaged or married. And then 30s came and went, and it was okay. Surely by the time I'm 32, 33.

[03:23] Jan: Turning the pages on the couch.

[03:25] Katharine: Yes. And so each year that has gone on, it is. It is okay. So this is now. This is now my reality. And I think the Lord brought me to a place where it was, you know, are you willing to surrender that desire?

[03:39] Are you willing to accept it and to embrace the plans and purposes that I do have for you that might not include marriage, at least right now?

[03:48] And so I think the struggle has been in that acceptance and in that surrender.

[03:55] And I would say, too, you know, part of. Part of it has been,

[04:00] you know, you feel like you've missed out on a lot of milestones. I think you see your friends go through the milestones of, oh, they get engaged and married, and then they have kids, and you're sort of still out here just by.

[04:12] By yourself. Right?

[04:14] And it's like,

[04:15] yeah. And it's like, lord, have you. Have you forgotten about me? And of course, no, he hasn't. It's just his plans are different. And. And I have to trust.

[04:26] I've learned. I. I have to trust that God knows what is best for me. And he. He knows. He knows me better than I know myself. And. And he gets to define what is good for me.

[04:38] You know, sometimes I, like, I can sit here and say, well, I think it would be really good to have a husband. I think it would be really good to have a family and be married.

[04:46] But I don't get to define good. You know, God gets to define good because he knows me and he created me. And so if he has me in this season of prolonged singleness, then I have to trust that it's for a reason and that it's for my best.

[05:00] Even though it doesn't always feel like the best or feel my good, I have to trust that he has me right where he wants me for a particular reason, because he knows me.

[05:10] And I think,

[05:11] two, there's an element of maybe he's been protecting me from things that I can't see. And so I've had to kind of trust that as well.

[05:18] Jan: I think that's. That's true. You know, I think there's things that.

[05:23] I mean, you look around, not all marriages are successful.

[05:27] Not all of them are happy, and not all,

[05:29] because it might have started out with your dream boat and whatever, that it doesn't always turn out to be that way. And it's very possible that he just hasn't.

[05:39] Katharine: Yeah, exactly. And it's like. And I do think I can look back and say,

[05:43] well, you know what? I do. I. I believe there is an element of protection, because I think he was protecting me from the wrong men. I think. I think he was.

[05:51] There was an element of self, of protecting me from myself, because I think he's had to do a lot of growing and maturing in me to even get me to a place of desiring the right kind of man, the godly man.

[06:02] And so I. Again, I do think I can see that in hindsight, like I always say, like, thank you, Lord, for not giving me who I thought I wanted,

[06:11] you know, thank goodness. But again, at that moment, it was like, well, this is good for me. And I can now see in hindsight, no. And, like, that was not good, and that wouldn't have been good.

[06:19] So thank you, Lord, you know?

[06:22] Yes,

[06:23] yes. Yeah, yeah.

[06:26] Jan: And he's saying, I'm the God standing back there going, yeah, yeah, I knew it. You know.

[06:31] Katharine: Right. Yeah. Yes, exactly right. Like I told you. Right? Yeah, yeah.

[06:38] Jan: I. I had a couple of miscarriages, and I just.

[06:41] Part of me wonders whether those little kiddos just were being saved from something later or who knows what too, you know?

[06:49] Katharine: Yeah,

[06:50] yeah, well, we know. And that's just it. It's like he know. He. He knows and sees everything,

[06:55] you know, our. Our perspective is so limited. I mean, it is so limited.

[07:00] And it's like, okay, you know, he knows beginning for man, past, present, future, can see everything. And it's like, okay,

[07:06] if that's true, which we know it is, then he. He knows what he's doing. He knows what he's doing, you know?

[07:12] Jan: Yeah. And, you know, and part of our brain can say that logically, and the other part goes, yeah, but I'm ready and waiting.

[07:20] Katharine: Oh, a hundred percent. Oh, my gosh. And that desire, too.

[07:23] That desire is so strong.

[07:25] And it. And. And I have. I. I've wrestled with, okay, Lord, you know, you put this desire in me. It's a good and holy desire to get married and to find a godly man and to share A life with.

[07:36] So.

[07:37] So if you say that that's a good thing and that you put that desire in me, then,

[07:42] you know.

[07:43] Yeah.

[07:44] Yeah. How do you reconcile that? You know?

[07:47] Jan: Yeah. So where do, where do singles go to try and find a friend? Maybe more than a friend?

[07:56] Katharine: Great question.

[07:58] I mean, I think in today's landscape, I think dating apps have obviously just taken hold. I think that's where a lot of people have, have turned is to. To dating apps.

[08:09] I will say,

[08:10] you know, I even know some of my friends who have been lifelong singles. Like I had. I just had a girlfriend last year get married. She was 37 years old, single a long time, just like me.

[08:20] She went on hinge,

[08:22] met someone and found her husband. And so I know that there are those stories of success.

[08:27] You know, there are.

[08:29] I think for me personally, I feel like that's not necessarily gonna be the path or what the Lord has asked me to, you know, how he's gonna lead me into my husband.

[08:38] I more feel like he's asked me to just fully surrender and put it into his hands.

[08:43] But I would say dating apps. I would say church. I mean, church too. Of course. You, you hope, you would hope that at church you can go and find. But I will say as a, as a single, there aren't many.

[08:53] There are a lot more single women than there are single men in the church.

[08:58] And, and so that's a struggle.

[09:01] But. And as far as, you know, people will say,

[09:04] you know, you have. Some people say, well, do you go, you know, do you go out and, you know, go to a bar? I mean, I'm like, I've tried the bar.

[09:10] The bar scene is not the place. Let me tell. I've. I've been down that road and it is not the place.

[09:16] So I would steer clear of that.

[09:18] But you never. I. Again, it's. God is so much bigger. You never know how he's going to work.

[09:23] It could come through a connection,

[09:25] a friend, a friend of a friend or some sort of connection. That's what I am hopeful for, that somehow it'll come through a connection. But. But yeah, I think dating apps are huge right now.

[09:35] And I know people have had good and bad experiences. I ne. Don't necessarily feel like that's my path, but I know it's worked for people.

[09:42] Jan: In my first romance novel that I wrote is the Kaitlyn, the character is just like, okay, I gotta find somebody because she gets into this bad relationship and then whatever. And so,

[09:53] so I kind of went down the tunnel of researching dating apps. And what things people say and. And, you know, how they put up their profiles and stuff. I mean,

[10:07] they're pretty hilarious.

[10:09] Katharine: Oh, my gosh. Oh, it's. It is. It is.

[10:12] Oh, my gosh. Yeah, it is. And it's over. I think it's overwhelming, too. Part of it is there's that idea of, you know, you can just keep swiping, you know, and it's like you can just keep.

[10:21] Spend so much time and energy and are people really portraying their true selves? You know, there's that question. So you have to. I think you have to use discernment. If you are.

[10:30] Go on the dating, you know, apps, you have to be smart. And I think use discernment in that process and. And also, like, invite the Lord into that process. Like, okay, you know, like, help, lead and guide me here because, you know, it can quickly.

[10:46] You know, it can quickly go downhill if you're not careful.

[10:49] Jan: Yeah. Yeah. And. And because when you're doing that, you're in a vulnerable position.

[10:54] Katharine: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Yes. Yep. Yeah.

[10:59] Jan: After my first husband died, you know, I was 32. I was still pretty young.

[11:06] I mean. Okay.

[11:07] I felt like I was a teenager again, you know, and kind of just totally looking around and who's here or who might be interested or what. I mean, it was.

[11:17] Yeah.

[11:18] Katharine: Oh, yeah. Oh, it's a whole. It's a whole world. It's a. It's a whole world. Yeah.

[11:26] Jan: Are there places in the Bible that talk about single?

[11:30] Katharine: Well, I mean, Paul T. Paul talks about being single.

[11:33] Jan: Paul does, yeah.

[11:33] Katharine: You know, Paul in. In First Corinthians. And now this is something that I always used to hear the people that people would tell me, and I get so, so mad. I would get.

[11:41] So they would say. They would say, well, Paul says that it's a gift to be single because you can dedicate yourself to the Lord. And I'm like,

[11:47] But being on the other side of this now, where I've kind of surrendered and seen there are blessings in being single. And so. And that's what Paul. Paul does say, you know, you can fully devote yourself to the Lord to.

[11:58] To his plans and purposes. And I think that, again, that's something that's easier said than. Than done all the time. And to. But I have had to learn to recognize,

[12:09] okay, there are gifts and blessings in being single. Like, I have a lot of freedom and flexibility. You know, I. I don't. And I was joking. One of my friends, the.

[12:18] The friend who got married,

[12:20] she. Last year, she was like,

[12:23] you know, I. I Miss my alone time. She's like, I don't have a lot of alone time anymore, and I miss being able to eat whatever I want to eat, whenever I want to eat, you know, so she was joking with and telling me.

[12:33] I'm like, you know what? That's true. Like, and so I think paying attention to those little gifts and blessings and being grateful for them and. And stewarding well, the season that you're in, as hard as it is,

[12:45] but recognizing, okay, there are. There are gifts. There are gifts here, and. And I don't want to. I want to take advantage of that. Even though my heart does long for that.

[12:55] That relationship, that husband, I still, you know, my prayer is like, lord, help me to be in this season well, you know, to help me to steward this season well and to be content being single.

[13:05] Because I have a feeling, like a lot of marriage. They're like, all my married friends. Most of my friends are married, and they're like beans. I miss being single. You know, it's always like, grass is greener on the other side type of thing, you know?

[13:18] Jan: Well, there are moments. Yeah. There are moments. You know, my youngest daughter is a nun, and so just in that decision.

[13:30] Katharine: Yeah.

[13:31] Jan: Decide that you're going to remain single. But, you know, she says, I got the best husband in the world. She's.

[13:40] Katharine: Yes. Right.

[13:41] Jan: Nobody on earth I'd rather be married to.

[13:44] Katharine: Right. I mean, God's a pretty great husband. The best. The best.

[13:49] Jan: He provides all my needs. He's right there when I need him. He's just like, talk to him anytime, day or night without waking him up.

[13:59] Katharine: It's so true. Right? It's so. And that, too. That is. That's a great perspective, too. I mean, it's. And I even remember. I mean, there have been.

[14:07] I've been to so many weddings. Right. So many weddings as. As a single person and sometimes as like the only single person.

[14:14] And I. I remember there was a catch.

[14:17] Jan: The bouquet.

[14:18] Katharine: Yeah. I'm like, I'm still out here. Exactly.

[14:23] Jan: Exactly. Finally.

[14:25] Katharine: Yeah, I know. I know.

[14:28] Yeah. Yeah. Oh, it's crazy. And it's like I've even, you know, I've even.

[14:32] Because I've been single so long, it's. I've seen people get married, divorced, and then remarried, and I'm out here like, lord, what is going on? You know?

[14:41] But. But. Yeah, but back to, you know, what your daughter said about having God as your husband. I mean, it's truly. It's like, okay, Lord, you. You're about the best husband, you know?

[14:49] I can't ask for anything better. So, you know, I'm just. And that's kind of how I view it, at least right now. Is God is my. God is my man, he is my husband.

[14:57] He is my provider, you know?

[14:59] Jan: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, he's really. I mean, we say he's everything.

[15:05] Katharine: Yes, yeah, exactly. And he is. And he. He can.

[15:09] He. He can meet all of our needs. You know, I think he. It's just a matter of turning to him to fulfill those needs, I think.

[15:16] Jan: Yeah.

[15:17] What do you. In your imagination with your perfect husband,

[15:23] what do you see life being like?

[15:26] What are the things like? Well, like, what are the things like? Well, if I was married, this is what, you know, where we go, what we'd be, what we. You know.

[15:34] Katharine: Yeah. I mean, that's a great. That's a great question. I think for me, it comes down to. And again, this has sort of been a.

[15:41] A growth process of, like, I. First and foremost, I want a godly man, a man who loves God more than anything. Because I think if you love God, you know how to love others and you know how to love a wife.

[15:54] Well, if you love God. And so that, to me is like, number one. I'm like, I want a man who truly and not just says that they love the. You know, but truly, that you can see the fruit of that love for the Lord.

[16:06] Jan: About 35, you know. Percent of the.

[16:11] Katharine: Yeah,

[16:12] right. Right.

[16:14] Yeah. So. But I think. I mean,

[16:16] just more like practically speak. I mean, I.

[16:21] Someone to.

[16:22] This just sounds so. But like, someone to enjoy life with. Like, I love. I love traveling. I love hiking. I love doing different. I like staying active. I think I've done all those things on my own.

[16:33] And so having someone to do that. And I've learned to be comfortable doing those things on my own because I've been forced into it. But I think having someone to enjoy those things with would just be so beautiful.

[16:44] And I think. I think too, you know, having someone to have a fan, to have a family with. Right. And. And to raise kids with and have our own family.

[16:54] You know, I've seen. I have two older brothers and they. They're married with kids. And you see that and. And that's. That's a longing that you have.

[17:01] And so.

[17:02] But someone to share life with.

[17:05] Truly. Truly in every. In every sense of the. The word.

[17:09] Jan: Yeah. And what's wrong with those brothers that they haven't found you somebody.

[17:13] Katharine: Oh, right. I'm like, come on, guys,

[17:16] slacking.

[17:18] I know,

[17:19] I know, I know. My Whole family, I think, is waiting, like, oh my gosh, is she ever gonna get married?

[17:24] Jan: You know, but, you know, when people say that too, or whatever, you almost feel like it's your fault,

[17:30] you know, a little bit. Like,

[17:32] yes, I'm doing everything right.

[17:34] Katharine: Like, I'm. I'm not doing right. I'm.

[17:37] And it's almost like I. And they've, you know, even they've seen me go through different,

[17:42] different phases and with different. But it's like, I'm not. I didn't ask for this. Right.

[17:48] Like, I didn't choose this for myself at all. And. And so I think that, that it does make it hard because it's like, you know, and then with the aspect of surrender, it's.

[17:58] I really believe that the Lord has asked me to surrender that. And I meaning put it in his hands. It is completely in his hands.

[18:05] And that comes with, you know, I think I've had voices around me, not necessarily family, but like, other people be like, well, why don't you put yourself out there? Or why don't you get on a dating app?

[18:14] And I'm like, I would if I felt that that was the. That was what God was asking me to, but he's just asked me to leave it in his hands that he's got it.

[18:21] Like, and I, I trust that he has got it.

[18:24] But. But it is hard when it feels like,

[18:27] you know, that. That question marker, you know, do. Do they. How do people perceive me? Like, what's wrong with her? You know, like. Or why is she still single? You know?

[18:38] Jan: Yeah, yeah. There's a couple other gals that the both of who I had interviewed for different topics, whatever before. But yeah, they're your age and they're still going like,

[18:50] you know, what's going on here? You know, and. And my, you know, like,

[18:55] how much longer can I be in the baby zone?

[19:00] You know, or.

[19:01] Katharine: Right, right. Yes. And that's a whole nother question too. You know, time continues to tick by and you do feel that,

[19:08] you know, we have that biological clock ticking away.

[19:12] And so that is. And with again, with each passing year, it's. Oh, my gosh, you know, I'm not now I'm in my mid till almost late 30s now. You know, what.

[19:21] What's going to happen? So. But again, I ha. I just. Going back to it.

[19:26] God sees, God knows, and he can make a way where. Where there is. Where there's seemingly no way. And so that's just what I have to remind myself of.

[19:36] Jan: Have you thought at all about. You Know, fostering kids or adopting.

[19:41] Katharine: I, I have again, though, I think that's something that I. I don't know if I would want to do it on my own,

[19:47] you know, but I, I have thought of that and, and, and it. That might be. I mean, who knows, down the road,

[19:53] but.

[19:53] But that's something.

[19:55] Yeah, that's something I just. I. I think I. I wouldn't want to do right now, at least on my own.

[20:01] Jan: Well, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[20:08] Katharine: Well, yeah. Yep.

[20:10] Jan: I know. And I know that, like, well, with my youngest daughter, my husband, I would be praying every night that she'd find somebody, whatever.

[20:20] Katharine: And it. Yeah, it's hard too, like I said, because there does seem to be a surplus of single Christian woman,

[20:28] but the men are far and few in between either. They're already married, you know, these Christian men are already married,

[20:35] I mean, which seems to be. But they're just seeing. There seems to be a shortage of Christian men.

[20:42] So you have all these women. Yeah. Where are you? Where are you? So.

[20:45] Jan: Well, even my son, He's. He's early 40s, you know, and he's never been married. And he says,

[20:52] you know, I just wish I could find somebody, but it's just, he's in LA and that everything is way different. It's hard.

[21:01] People that he's found are just like,

[21:04] you know, oh, I need to be.

[21:06] I need you to take me to fancy restaurants and to do these,

[21:10] you know, like,

[21:12] that's not who he is and that's not what he wants. You know, he wants connection with somebody. That's, you know.

[21:19] Katharine: Yeah.

[21:20] And that's. But that's like, me too, though. And I, I think I've always. It's something that I've come to learn about myself more and more is I really can't do the shallow type of thing.

[21:30] I'm, I'm not. I'm like such a deep.

[21:32] I'm an introvert. I'm a deep feeler, deep thinker, and I can't do the surfacey. You know, if I. Honestly, if I wanted to, I'm sure I could go out and find someone to date, but it wouldn't be that connect.

[21:44] Like, it wouldn't. It wouldn't be that connection that I'm looking for, you know,

[21:47] and it wouldn't. It wouldn't be the, the type. I don't think the type of man necessarily that I'm. I'm looking for. And so, So I totally understand that. It's like.

[21:54] And even, you know, I've tried. I've tried that and here I am. So it's like, okay, been there, been there, done that, you know,

[22:03] and do.

[22:03] Jan: You have any guy friends that are. That you're close with that you.

[22:09] Katharine: No,

[22:09] not really. I mean, I think, I think that's. That's a tricky thing too, because I,

[22:15] I don't, you know, a lot of.

[22:17] Since most of my friends, I would say, are married and, you know, I'm friends with both.

[22:22] But you. But it's, I think as far as single male friends, I don't. I think that's a tricky thing too. I don't know if you can be friends solely. I don't know.

[22:31] I don't know if you can be friends with a man,

[22:34] a single man developing or.

[22:37] Yeah, yeah. So.

[22:39] Jan: Yeah, yeah, all those. Yeah, lots of aspects on that gym.

[22:47] Katharine: Right, right.

[22:49] Jan: Parts of it, you know, that are just.

[22:51] Katharine: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[22:53] Jan: You did interview somebody who had been. Was like in her 60s. It was.

[23:00] Katharine: Yes. And she, I, she has been. She's actually been such a blessing to me to connect with her and to hear her story and just her journey with that. She kind of went through a similar.

[23:10] Where the Lord was just asking her to surrender that.

[23:13] And, you know,

[23:15] one of the things that she said that kind of stuck out is, you know, it's better to be happy single than it is to be miserable married.

[23:23] And I'm like, you know, how true, how true is that? But I think it's a matter of finding contentment in your singleness, which is what we were talking about during our conversation is because you don't want to be miserable single.

[23:37] If this is a season or a lifestyle that the Lord has called you to,

[23:42] then you kind of have to learn how to find that contentment. And I think, again,

[23:47] it's a matter of turning to him to fill your needs,

[23:52] not looking to the world or to other people. I think we're just so quick in general to, like, seek comfort in all the wrong places. And I think the Lord just asked us to turn to him with those things because he's capable of fulfilling all.

[24:06] All the needs and all the things. So I think that's been a learning curve for me as well.

[24:12] Instead of, you know, being quick to turn to something else, bringing those needs to the Lord and allowing him to fill that. That void, that space that. That longing.

[24:22] Jan: I've been reading it through Jesus's calling, you know, emotional, whatever, and it just. All, every single day, it's come close to me.

[24:30] Come closer to me Waiting for you. I'm right here.

[24:34] Everything you need come closer to me.

[24:37] Katharine: Yeah, I know, right? Yes, yes.

[24:39] Jan: Okay, maybe I'll get this. Like.

[24:42] Katharine: Yeah, I know, but that's. And that's just it. It doesn't even matter what season you're in. The Lord is always inviting us to come and draw near to him,

[24:49] you know, and you think about like Matthew 11 talking about, come to me, all of you who are weary and heavy laden, right? Which, like, how many of us are weary and heavy laden, right?

[24:59] And he says, I will give you rest.

[25:02] And, and it really is provide. Like, that's him saying, like, I will provide you the relief and the comfort and the, the refreshment that you desire, but you have to turn to me.

[25:13] Jan: You know, and whatever situation in you're in, you know. But you know, I have many married friends who are praying that they can be content.

[25:25] Katharine: Yeah. Oh, see, that's so interesting. So it goes both ways. It goes both ways.

[25:31] Jan: Both ways. You know, you can be marriage that you think is mostly good, but there's those things,

[25:36] you know, and help me to, help me to really love my husband. Help me to be content with this marriage that I'm in. And, you know.

[25:44] Katharine: Yeah, well, that, and that's a whole. Yeah, exactly. That's a whole nother, right?

[25:50] Jan: Yeah.

[25:51] Yeah. So it. I think you're right. You know, just every day you say, hey,

[25:56] glad I'm alive, glad I'm healthy. I'm glad in life. And,

[26:01] and what are we going to do today, Lord?

[26:03] Katharine: Yeah, what do you got for me today? Yeah, exactly.

[26:06] Jan: About going on this hike. You want to come with me?

[26:09] Katharine: Truly?

[26:10] I mean, that is, that is, it's so funny. I'll like, with the weddings I'll go to, I'm like, all right, Lord, you want to be my date? Let's go.

[26:16] Jan: You know, my plus one.

[26:19] Katharine: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[26:22] Yeah. But I mean, I was talking to one of my other single friends as well, and we were just talking about how,

[26:28] how, you know, we can get so caught up with wanting the Lord to move in a certain area of our life or do something that we kind of miss out on what he is doing in the present or what he's trying to do in the present or where he is moving.

[26:41] And so for me, I mean, I spent years hyper focused, laser focused on, I want to find a husband. Why aren't you giving me a husband? What is going on?

[26:50] You know, but then it, it, it was okay, but I'm missing on what you actually are trying to do in this season,

[26:56] you know, and so I've had to redirect my focus and say, okay, you. You've got this. This part, you know, my desire I'm putting in your hands. Well, where are you moving right now in my life that I can join you in?

[27:08] And. And that you are calling me towards. And so that's kind of helped shift that from being, like, my sole focus to, okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna move where you're moving, you know,

[27:19] and where. And where I can see you're at work and where you're calling me to.

[27:23] So.

[27:24] Jan: Yeah. Yeah. Interesting perspective. Are there certain scriptures that help you through?

[27:30] Katharine: Yeah. Oh, gosh,

[27:32] there are.

[27:33] I'm trying to think of some in particular for this particular season.

[27:40] I think, you know, one that automatically comes to mind is just proverbs.

[27:44] Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

[27:49] Lean not on your own understanding. I mean, that has just been such a battle for me because I'm like, I just want to understand,

[27:56] you know,

[27:57] but we can't. He does not call us to understand. He calls us to trust and to. And. And so that scripture, I definitely find myself going back to another one just with the idea of.

[28:08] Of waiting. You know, Those who. Isaiah 40, those who wait on the Lord, will renew their strength. And that word, wait.

[28:16] Actually, so it's. I had this woman on my podcast, and she was talking about how we think of waiting as this passive sort of thing where we're just sort of not doing anything.

[28:26] But she was saying that that word, if you actually dig into that word, wait is an active word. It's a. It's like a verb. And it means, like, to. To, like, twist yourself and bind yourself with the Lord.

[28:37] And so it is. It's not this passive, oh, I'm just waiting. It's like, no, I'm. I'm seeking after the Lord. I'm pursuing Him. I am moving towards him in my season of waiting.

[28:48] So I try to keep that in mind, too, because sometimes it does feel like I'm waiting. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. But I'm like, okay, am I. Am I seeking the Lord?

[28:56] Am I drawing closer to Him? You know,

[28:58] so that. That's kind of been helpful, too,

[29:00] which.

[29:01] Jan: Is ultimately what he wants.

[29:02] Katharine: Yeah. For all of us. Regard, again, regardless if we're single, married, whatever. That is what he wants. Yeah.

[29:09] Jan: Right. So you have a podcast. Tell us about that.

[29:12] Katharine: Yeah. So it's called Eternal Echoes,

[29:15] and I launched it about six months ago,

[29:19] and it's really dedicated to passing on wisdom and Faith and life lessons from older Christians or older saints, as I like to call them, those who are 65 or older.

[29:31] And this idea, really, it's. The Lord put it on my heart to turn to the older generation. I think they just have so much wisdom and life experience to offer.

[29:42] And I think in our culture we can kind of be quick to cast the older generation aside or to say, you know, they're irrelevant, they don't know what they're talking about.

[29:51] You know, that kind of is the cultural messaging. But I think the Lord really put it on my heart to say no. They have, like, give them a voice and highlight the value of that they offer just through their life experience, through their walk.

[30:05] And so it's been so fun to have different people on, like yourself and, and share their, their testimonies and,

[30:12] and just the things that they've learned. And. And so that's been a, that's been a real blessing. But it's definitely something where I feel,

[30:19] you know, people will say, well, how'd you, you know, where'd that come from? I'm like, the Lord just dropped it in my heart. You know,

[30:25] it wasn't my idea. It was a God idea.

[30:27] Jan: You know, I know how that is. Yeah, yeah. And you have inter. Interviewed some very interesting people. It's a great one. I would highly recommend this.

[30:37] Katharine: Thank you.

[30:38] Jan: Look it up because it's gonna. I'll put a link in the show notes for that too, but.

[30:42] Well, we are almost at a close. Is there anything else you would like to share?

[30:46] Katharine: I don't think so. I mean, this has been so. This has been so fun. I appreciate the opportunity to come on and talk about. I don't get a chance actually to talk much about singleness.

[30:55] So this has been,

[30:56] this has been fun for me.

[30:58] Yeah. So thank you.

[31:00] Jan: Yeah. I think it's going to be valuable to many people.

[31:03] Katharine: Yeah, absolutely.

[31:04] Jan: For both of us. Thank you, Katherine.

[31:06] Katharine: Thank you so much.