Creating Trust and Emotional Intimacy with Leslie Davis

Vision Driven Marriage podcast
Vision Driven Marriage website
https://youtu.be/xCKCGlZIKsY

Jan Johnson's substack: @janjohnson3
Jan's instagram: justtalkinaboutjesus

Relevant Scriptures:
1 Peter 4:8 Love covers a multitude of sins
Colossians 3:14 Love binds everything together in perfect harmony.

Doug and Leslie founded The Vision-Driven Marriage because they want to see marriages thrive. Their passion is to see marriages healed and strengthened through the truth of God's Word so that families can thrive! They know that when marriages are strong, families and communities are strong, also. Using Biblical principles, they help couples overcome difficult situations in their marriages. 

Doug and Leslie have been married for over 30 years and have raised four daughters. Doug is a veteran pastor and high school history teacher. Leslie is a Biblical counselor and certified Biblical mental health coach, bringing a wealth of experience to the listening audience. Some topics they address are trauma in marriage, better communication, honoring one another, and deepening intimacy.

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Transcript

[00:02] Jan Johnson: Welcome to Just Talking About Jesus. I'm Jan Johnson, a seasoned believer who loves relationships and, you know, just talking about. Hello. Hello, listeners. Welcome to episode 39, we're just talking About Jesus.

[00:17] Last week we heard from Brenda Seefelt, sharing about bravery in our lives and God's bigger story.

[00:24] How's your marriage or your relationship? Do you ever wonder whether it's okay to set boundaries in a relationship? Do you have a barrier to praying together?

[00:34] Or do you ever wonder what your spouse was really thinking when they said or did a certain thing?

[00:40] Our discussion today will answer some of those questions.

[00:45] My guest today is Leslie Davis.

[00:47] Leslie and her husband Doug founded the Vision Driven Marriage because they wanted to see marriage thrive. Their passion is to see marriages healed and strengthened through the truth of God's word so that families can thrive.

[00:59] They know that when marriages are strong, families and communities are also strong.

[01:05] Using biblical principles, they help couples overcome difficult situations in their marriages. Doug and Leslie have been married for over 30 years and have raised four daughters. Doug is a veteran pastor and high school history teacher.

[01:18] Leslie is a biblical counselor and certified biblical mental health coach. Some topics they address are trauma in marriage, better communication, honoring one another, and deepening intimacy.

[01:32] Leslie Davis: We do a lot of coaching. A lot of our podcast episodes are on communication because it breaks down so fast. Like, that's what you have when you're in that interactive space.

[01:44] You know, when two people are coming together, that's the space. That's what they're doing in that space is communicating. Whether it's it's body language or emotional or physical intimacy, it's all communication within that space.

[02:05] Leslie Davis: Leslie Davis, how nice to have you here today.

[02:08] Leslie Davis: Oh, Jan, thank you for having me. It is so wonderful to be here and. And be able to minister to your listeners. I'm excited about it.

[02:15] Leslie Davis: Yeah, you just got all this stuff going on about marriage and what to do. But first of all, tell me a little bit of your testimony.

[02:23] Jan Johnson: Were you raised.

[02:25] Leslie Davis: You know, I was not raised in church. My parents were Easter and Christmas churchgoers, you know.

[02:34] Yes, yes. But I remember as a child never doubting the Bible stories. Like, you know, when my dad would read Bible stories to me even though we didn't go to church.

[02:47] But I never doubted that they were true or that they were, you know, I nep. Right. I never doubted that they were true.

[02:55] And that created a.

[02:58] A seeking. And as I was seeking, the Lord was wooing, you know, you know how he does. He just kind of graciously and gently just kind of pulls us in to Him.

[03:09] And then when I was 16 and got my own car, that was what I did. I started driving myself to church.

[03:17] I started going to my grammy's church and I learned a lot of biblical wisdom there. But it wasn't until probably another.

[03:28] Well, I had started going to my grammy's church when I was about 13. And then when I was about 16, about halfway through my 16th year, I started driving my self to a Bible preaching church, like a gospel centered, you know, Bible preaching her.

[03:44] And I heard the salvation message for the first time at that point. And I knew I, I just, I did not doubt that when the, the scripture said that I needed a savior, I needed a savior.

[03:57] And so it was at that point the Lord had just worked on my heart and had been wooing me for so long that I didn't even doubt. So I accepted Jesus as my savior when I was 16 and met my husband when I was 18.

[04:10] And we got married when we were 20. We did not know one thing that we were doing, but we knew that the Lord had us both and so we just went with it.

[04:22] Leslie Davis: I bet your grammy had been praying for you all those years too.

[04:26] Leslie Davis: Oh, absolutely. Yes, she did. And I, I just, I count it to her that she prayed Doug into my life and that was just such a. She lived to be like almost a hundred and so she was at our wedding and it was just really cool.

[04:41] I just know she prayed Doug into my life, so.

[04:44] Leslie Davis: For sure, for sure. Well, let's see. So what about one of the things that you talk about are the six marriage mistakes? Let's start with mistakes.

[04:57] Leslie Davis: Let's start with mistakes. Mistakes so we know how to get better. It's funny that you say that because I don't think I've read that blog post for a long time. I don't know that I could recount those six mistakes or not.

[05:10] But I do know that some of the mistakes that we, that we do make in our own flesh as we're operating within our relationship is to, you know, focus on our spouse meeting our needs as opposed to Christ meeting our needs.

[05:28] And that, that leaves things wonky and out of balance. And things can be, you know, things can just kind of gradually go south when, when that's in the operation. Like it doesn't, it's not a big obvious thing like we're fighting all the time.

[05:44] There's always these little disappointments about, well, that need isn't getting met or that was a disappointment, you know, the way that was said, or, or something like that. But when we, when our focus is on Jesus and Jesus is the one that is filling us with what we need, then we can be what our spouse needs.

[06:05] And I just think that's one of the, I think that's one of the places, one of the spaces that we, you know, make a mistake is a. Is allowing or asking our spouse to be.

[06:19] Be what? Be all that we need, you know?

[06:22] Leslie Davis: Yeah. Which nobody is going to be. Be able to. No human being is ever going to be able to fill that. That need. But then I would be going, hey, this is a guy that you gave me, so shouldn't he be right?

[06:37] Leslie Davis: Can we just straighten him up for a minute? Right?

[06:39] Leslie Davis: Really?

[06:42] Leslie Davis: I know. I tell my coaching clients that all the time. When we look at what a healthy marriage model is, and it really unpacks how our common marriage model is. When people get together, we start dating and then we get married.

[06:57] And then. Because there's no concept of individuality in the course of the covenant marriage, because it's like, oh, well, two flesh become one, you know, we become one. Well, yes, we do in God's eyes.

[07:12] But in the midst of that covenant marriage, we're also acting as individuals with, within that relationship.

[07:19] And so often we, we miss that and we end up losing our individualness and becoming enmeshed, which isn't. That's where. Where we begin to get our identity from our spouse and get our self worth from our spouse.

[07:34] And that's a really dangerous place to be because no one can.

[07:40] Our identity comes from Christ. You know, no one can give us our identity outside of Christ.

[07:45] Leslie Davis: Mm.

[07:47] Yeah. And.

[07:49] Yeah, and it's gonna go both directions. You know, you can be the same ones that are. They're trying to get them to fit our needs or, or expecting certain things too.

[07:59] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So what do. What, what does a healthy, A really healthy marriage look like for you? Well, what would you say a healthy.

[08:10] Leslie Davis: Marriage look looks like? Two whole healthy adults coming together in an in and in an interactive space.

[08:20] But the key there is whole and healthy, you know, both spiritually and mentally and physically and emotionally. And that doesn't always happen.

[08:31] Like, we come in with our baggage and we come in with our hurts and, you know, we come in with our preconceived ideas and our expectations and our, and, and all those things.

[08:43] And that's why it's so important that in that middle, in that interactive space, we have a responsibility for the central role of our faith, you know, to bring Christ into that, into that mix also.

[08:56] And that's where you know, that's the extent of our responsibility. We have responsibility for our behaviors and our actions and our relationship with the Lord. And we have influence in that interactive space.

[09:11] But we don't have control over our spouses actions and reactions and their, you know, their responsibility to keep their faith and to keep their relationship with the Lord. We don't have control over that.

[09:24] That's what makes relationships so hard, is because sometimes we really try to have control over that, you know, and we just don't. It just doesn't, um, didn't work like that.

[09:34] Healthy marriage model does not work like that.

[09:36] Leslie Davis: And you have things. If you have. It's not even an if. Those things that you have absolutely in the past. You have to be in a relish relationship where you totally trust your spouse to be able to share those things.

[09:53] Because if you can't, then you don't even have a foundation to go on.

[09:58] Leslie Davis: Absolutely. Yes. Creating trust and a safe emotional space within that interactive space within that relationship is really, really important for creating intimacy. And I think about Doug and I when we first got married.

[10:13] He, he came from a background where his, his family handled conflict really well. I mean, there was a, you know, there were things that they didn't do very well. Like most families had.

[10:23] Have those things too. Right. But his family handled conflict really well. My family did not. And so when we came together, our expectations over, over handling an argument or a disagreement was completely different.

[10:40] And I, I would need to, to back out and process and he wanted to sit down at the table and talk it out. And I, that would give me anxiety and make me emotional and then I would get mad and then I would lash out.

[10:56] And it, it was just a, it was, you know, it was just a spiral down. It was awful. It was terrible.

[11:02] And I said, look, we can't, I can't do this. Like I need to, I need to step away and process. And then he would feel disrespected when I would leave that process, you know, it felt disrespectful to him and I wasn't meaning to be disrespectful.

[11:17] And so what, what we managed to do, you know, after many years of this cycle, it's probably seven years of that cycle, we said, look, this, this isn't how we're handling.

[11:30] This isn't working. Like we need different things. So we started talking about why I would need to leave and process and why he wanted to sit down and fix it.

[11:39] So our compromise was I could leave and process and chill out, take a Breath, do some, you know, guided relaxation and deep breathing so that I wasn't spouting off at the mouth and.

[11:53] And really causing some damage. Right.

[11:56] And I would come back in a certain allotted amount of time. So he knew I was coming back, which was respectful, and I had time to unpack and process in my own, you know, my own thought process, which felt loving to me, you know, that he cared for me to allow me to have that space.

[12:17] And. And since then, our arguments have diffused because we don't. We don't. We're not clashing on the process of how we're doing things.

[12:28] So it was a good transition.

[12:30] Leslie Davis: Yeah.

[12:31] Leslie Davis: Probably didn't happen soon enough.

[12:34] Leslie Davis: I know, but you do have to come to that. That place where you can understand each other and what you're really, really thinking or, you know, I mean, I. I will sometimes think that something my husband says means something else, and it doesn't, but I don't get to the root of what that actually was, you know, to.

[12:55] Leslie Davis: And I think a lot of couples, too, don't give themselves permission to talk about the process. Like. Like you were saying, you know, being able to ask, did. Did you mean that to sound like XYZ or, you know.

[13:11] You know, I understand this, but I need more clarification on. So, like, they don't give themselves permission to talk about it. Like, they're in the conversation and it's constantly reactive instead of proactive.

[13:24] And that makes it hard when. When you're reactive, you're acting on the emotion of the situation, and. That's. Right. That got me in trouble. I pretty sure it gets other people in trouble, too, but it really got me in trouble.

[13:38] Leslie Davis: Yeah. Yeah.

[13:40] And so. And I think. Well, I think the. The longer you're married, the less you have things that you're, you know, either let things grow or, you know, whatever, but it's easier to.

[13:54] Leslie Davis: I focus on the important things.

[13:56] Jan Johnson: Yeah.

[13:57] Leslie Davis: Really important things are. Instead of those other things. Yeah.

[14:00] Jan Johnson: Yeah.

[14:01] Leslie Davis: That poor communication, that's just like. That's huge, isn't it? Yeah.

[14:05] Leslie Davis: Yes. Yes. We do a lot of coaching, and a lot of our podcast episodes are on communication because it breaks down so fast. Like, that's what you have when you're in that interactive space.

[14:19] You know, when two people are coming together, that's the space. That's what they're doing in that space is communicating. Whether it's. It's body language or emotional or physical intimacy, it's all communication within that space.

[14:34] Leslie Davis: Yeah. And just understanding that, that whole process That's. Yeah.

[14:38] Jan Johnson: Huge.

[14:39] Leslie Davis: Huge. Yes. Yes, ma'am. It's you.

[14:41] Leslie Davis: What are some ways that you can, that you show to honor your spouses?

[14:48] Leslie Davis: Well, Doug is a pastor and has been a pastor for the, the majority of our married life. He wasn't a pastor when we got married, and I think that was by grace, because if he had been, I would have been like, I'm not, I'm not pastor's wife material, so we're not going to get married.

[15:11] That's probably. I don't play the piano.

[15:17] I know, right?

[15:18] Leslie Davis: Play the piano and teach in Sunday school.

[15:21] Leslie Davis: Play the piano. I can teach Sunday school, but I can't not play the piano. They. Nobody would want to hear that. Right? So I, I think that him not being a pastor when we got married was, was grace, you know, from the Lord, because it wasn't until several years later that he really submitted to the call to full time ministry.

[15:41] He became a youth pastor and then he became an interim pastor and then he became a senior pastor. But one of the things that, that we do to honor each other in, in those roles is that he will never use our family or me or our marriage as a sermon illustration without asking me first.

[16:07] And I really am thankful.

[16:09] Leslie Davis: Really go a wrong direction. Couldn't it?

[16:11] Leslie Davis: Yes, yes, it could. Yes, it could. I don't think he'd want me to stand up in church and say, now wait a minute, Pastor, because that ain't how it played out.

[16:21] Yeah, that wouldn't be good.

[16:25] And so, so, yeah, so that's one of the ways that he honors me. One of the other things that I think about the way I honor him is that if I have something that concerns me about our relationship, I will go to him and talk to him first.

[16:41] And he's always open to that. My girlfriends don't know, you know, they, they don't know the, they don't know. I don't go talk to my girlfriends, you know, and so I'm an active listener, you know, I hear a lot of things, but they don't hear about the difficulties that, you know, or maybe the mishaps that we have.

[17:01] So, so that's, that's one of the other ways. Oh, I know one way. Another way that we honor each other. We made an agreement to not spend more than $500 without asking each other first.

[17:15] And back when we got married, 500 was a lot of money. Now it's not so much. You know, you can't go to the grocery store without dropping $500. But, but we've always honored that for the sake of each other, you know, and for the sake of building trust within our relationship.

[17:32] Because that's how trust is broken, is when.

[17:35] When you. When there's dishonor, you know, in the relationship, it just undermines trust so bad.

[17:42] Leslie Davis: Yeah, that's all. It's all built on honesty.

[17:46] Leslie Davis: Yes, yes, yes.

[17:47] Leslie Davis: Which is an. Honesty is built on trust.

[17:49] Leslie Davis: Yes, yes.

[17:51] And trust needs to be proven. You know, I. I think that's one of the things, and respect, too, is that there's a. There's a level of respect that you give just because someone's in a position, you know, and that's good.

[18:08] But when somebody is respectful, they gain more respect.

[18:14] Leslie Davis: Yeah.

[18:14] Leslie Davis: You know, that's kind of. It just kind of builds. Multiplies that way.

[18:18] Leslie Davis: Yeah. Yeah. Talk about intimacy.

[18:22] Leslie Davis: Oh, wow. I can talk about intimacy for a long time.

[18:26] Leslie Davis: Well, let's have at it.

[18:28] Leslie Davis: Okay. We did an. An early episode in our podcast division Driven Marriage, on intimacies. And what I didn't know when we interviewed this couple was there is, like, 25 different types of intimacy.

[18:42] And as I unpacked these different types, I'm like, well, some of them are.

[18:48] I guess some of them could be considered intimacy, but it was like recreational intimacy. I call that date night. Oh, you know, like, we just. We just have set a date night, and that is recreational intimacy.

[19:01] You know, we go to a movie or we go walk in. There's a beautiful park not too far from here, and we go walk, you know, around. It's like, I don't know, a hundred acres.

[19:10] I don't know. It's huge. And just go out in the flower gardens and spend time together and hold hands, and that is recreational intimacy. You know, there is a type of intimacy that's emotional intimacy.

[19:25] And emotional intimacy is created when that interactive space that a couple works in together has. They've worked to create a safe place to express how they feel. There's not a.

[19:39] So often I hear husbands say, well, she's just emotional. She's just being emotional. She's just being irrational. Well, that doesn't create lace in their relationship for emotional intimacy, because it's not safe to express how you feel, you know, and so I'm.

[19:57] I'm pretty good at. At expressing, you know, my. Because I'm pretty emotional, you know, And Doug just sits there and he smiles, and he just listens all the way, and.

[20:07] And I'm like, well, then how do you feel about it? He goes, I have one feeling, and I don't know what it is right now.

[20:14] Leslie Davis: Yep. That'd be my husband. Yes.

[20:17] Leslie Davis: I'm like, you are such a man. You're such a man. But. But I love that about him. He's honest about the one feeling that he does have.

[20:26] You know, I would say we have some.

[20:28] Leslie Davis: Might be able to guess what those feel, what that one feeling is. No.

[20:31] Leslie Davis: And you know what? The funny thing is that when he describes that one feeling, he never talks about actually what that feeling is. He talks about it getting stepped on, you know, And I guess that's how he.

[20:43] Well, that's how he describes, I guess, like, getting his feelings hurt without saying, I got my feelings hurt because he, you know, he doesn't describe that very well, but bless his heart.

[20:56] That's. That's how sweet he is.

[20:57] Leslie Davis: Oh, that. That's a whole nother thing in communication is learning to translate.

[21:03] Leslie Davis: Yes.

[21:05] Yes. Because men don't think like we do. We don't think like men do. And praise God for that. I. I don't. You know. Yes, praise God for that. That we are not the same.

[21:16] We don't process the same. We don't think about things the same way, and we certainly don't attack tasks the same way.

[21:25] He's definitely a fixer.

[21:28] And, you know, we had to. We had to get to the point where I would say, I just need a listener right now. Like, I just need you to listen.

[21:38] And I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna verbally dump all this stuff, and I just need you to listen. Or he'll say, do you need me to fix this? Or you.

[21:46] As I'm, you know, dumping, yeah, you need to fix this, or do you need me to fix this? Or do you need me to fix any of this? And they'll be like, yes, I need you to fix this.

[21:55] Like, this is frustrating me enough. I'm gonna delegate this task, and you can fix it, and that'll be great.

[22:02] Leslie Davis: But then there's other times. It's like. Like, no, I just want you to listen. That's all. Just need to spew. And I need you to sit there and listen.

[22:11] Leslie Davis: I just need you to sit there and listen, you know? But, yes, there's so many different types of intimacies. And I can send you the link to that episode. It was really good as we unpacked all these different types.

[22:21] Leslie Davis: Great. Yeah.

[22:22] Leslie Davis: Of intimacy. It was just really, really good. And of course, there's physical intimacy. And the thing about physical intimacy and emotional intimacy is that one, obviously, I think everybody knows this, but they don't know how to, they don't know how to dance this dance.

[22:40] A man's need is physical intimacy. A woman's need is emotional intimacy. And one begets the other. And the thing is is that like so often husbands are addressing their wives like their physical intimacy is their need and it's not, it's emo.

[22:57] I mean it's a need. Yes, but, but their priority is an emotional intimacy. And if they would focus on the emotional intimacy, a wife would be more apt to phys want to focus on the physical intimacy.

[23:10] And it's like this. But once you get that ball rolling that way, game on. I guess that's what they say.

[23:20] Leslie Davis: Yeah. Okay, so that's like four of them. So there's like 21 at least.

[23:24] Leslie Davis: More like a bunch. Yeah.

[23:27] Leslie Davis: That's great. Tell me about. So you have a podcast, what's it called?

[23:31] Leslie Davis: Our podcast is called the Vision Driven Marriage and that's our platform. Our website, our platform, our coaching is all that. But our podcast is called the Vision Driven Marriage Podcast. And it's so much fun to do, to share a mic with Doug was just learning how to dance and do that together was just so much fun.

[23:50] I guess that was a type of intimacy, work related intimacy, right?

[23:56] Leslie Davis: Yeah, yeah. And have you written books?

[23:59] Leslie Davis: No, have not written any book. Well, I take that back. I can say I have written a book. I have written a Christian contemporary romance that was so much fun to write and learn how to do story arcs and character building and world building and all the things.

[24:17] It was so much fun. But it would never be publishable.

[24:23] Yeah, not publishable. So much fun. I loved my characters, but yeah, not publishable.

[24:29] Leslie Davis: It could be, but you got to devote your time and. Yeah, a lot of time. Lot of whatever. And there's only so many hours in the day, right?

[24:37] Leslie Davis: Yes, yes. There's only so many hours in the day.

[24:39] Leslie Davis: Yeah, yeah. And then you have a YouTube as well.

[24:42] Leslie Davis: Yes, yes, the Vision Driven marriage is on YouTube as well.

[24:45] Leslie Davis: Okay. And any other places people could find you mostly.

[24:49] Leslie Davis: The website is a great resource, the vision driven marriage.com and we have a lot of free resources on the website including, including a quiz. I, I, I, I love this quiz because it will tell you if your marriage is a fair proof or if you're at risk of an affair.

[25:08] And so it's, it's a neat little tool that I really like to promote because some people just don't realize that they might be at risk for an affair or they might be drifting and moving toward you know, being at risk for an affair.

[25:22] Leslie Davis: Hmm. Interesting. Yeah. I'll have to take that.

[25:26] Leslie Davis: Yeah.

[25:27] Leslie Davis: Not feeling like there's a risk of it, but it'd just be just interesting. I think it'd be fine.

[25:32] Leslie Davis: Right.

[25:32] Leslie Davis: It would be, you know, just to do well. And even, you know, when you say affair, too, it may not be an intimate affair, but it could very easily be an emotional affair.

[25:43] Leslie Davis: Absolutely, absolutely. And. And the. The quiz kind of teases that out, too. Like, the first question is, you know, do you. When your spouse calls, do you take the call, or do you, you know, kind of blow it off and wait until later?

[25:57] And that speaks to an emotional connection that, you know, if. If you don't.

[26:03] If you don't nurture those connections, they will be un. Nurtured. They'll be. They'll deteriorate.

[26:10] Leslie Davis: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So much good stuff. Well, Leslie, any last thing you'd like to leave with our listeners?

[26:18] Leslie Davis: No, I would just say, don't give up. If your marriage is struggling and you feel like the Lord is not. Is not involved, invite the Lord to be involved, and he will get involved for sure.

[26:31] He's not gonna leave you in a struggling place. But. But, yeah, just seek the Lord in all that you do, and he'll bless that. He'll honor that. Even in the middle of a messy marriage.

[26:41] Leslie Davis: Yeah, yeah. And any other resources that you would recommend.

[26:46] Leslie Davis: Oh, I. I love the book, the Nine Lies that We Tell each Other in Our Marriage. Wait, that's not the right. That's not the right title.

[26:56] The Nine Lies that We Believe. It's put out by Focus on the Family. And so. But that is an amazing resource because those. Those little things that we believe that are not congruent with the truth, and they sneak their.

[27:11] Their stake stealthy, you know, and then they caused some problems, and we didn't even realize that we were believing a lie, you know?

[27:19] Leslie Davis: Yeah.

[27:19] Leslie Davis: Yes, I would recommend that book for sure.

[27:22] Leslie Davis: Yeah. Okay. Well, Leslie, thank you so much. And tell your husband I'm sorry we didn't get to visit with him as well.

[27:30] Leslie Davis: And yes, I'm sorry that he couldn't be here as well. Church duty tonight. That's. He. Has. He had a. A church. Church meeting tonight?

[27:40] Leslie Davis: Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe another time, too, as well. But this has been a delight, and I can't wait to share this with my listeners.

[27:47] Leslie Davis: Great. Thank you for having me, Jan. I appreciate it.

[27:55] Jan Johnson: I love how Leslie talks about the different types of intimacy. Relationship intimacy, date night or going on a walk and holding hands and Emotional intimacy Creating a safe space to communicate where you can build trust we all know that men don't think the same way as women.

[28:12] Probably a good thing.

[28:14] We don't process the same way, we don't think about things the same way, and we certainly don't attack tasks the same way.

[28:22] Sometimes one of us needs to take time to process and think about what has been said. Emotional intimacy creates a space for silence and listening, rephrasing what you think or said or just remembering that this other person is the one you married that you loved and wanted to spend the.

[28:38] Leslie Davis: Rest of your life with.

[28:41] Jan Johnson: For more great ideas go to their website and listen to their podcasts. I really enjoy it. There'll be links in the show notes and I'm going to leave you with first Peter 4:8 love covers a multitude of sins and Colossians 3:14 love binds everything together in perfect harmony.

[29:02] Blessings my friend. I look forward to joining you next week.