Lena Cebula: From Heroin and Human Trafficking to Grace and Redemption

Lena's website
Instagram-  @lenacebula
Lena's book Miraculous: My journey from hell to heaven
Fight 4 Freedom

In this powerful episode, Lena Cebula recounts her harrowing journey from a childhood filled with abuse and addiction in the USSR to her miraculous transformation and newfound life in Canada. Sold into human trafficking and subjected to unimaginable horrors, Lena found a real relationship with Jesus Christ and was rescued by divine intervention. Now a wife, mother, and author, she shares her story to offer hope and inspire others, revealing how God's grace and love brought her from the depths of despair to a life of peace and purpose.

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Transcript

From Hell to Heaven: Lena Cebula's Astounding Journey

[00:02] Jan: Welcome to just talking about Jesus. I'm Jan Johnson, a seasoned believer who loves relationships and, you know, just talking about Jesus. My guest today is Lena Cebula. She's a wife and a mother of three. I can't imagine. Well, I can't think back far enough to win. I only had three kids, but it was a fun time, that's for sure. She's also the author of a spiritual autobiography called miraculous my journey from hell to heaven and breaking silence. Welcome, Lena. I'm glad you're here with me.

[00:38] Lena: Thank you for having me. I'm really happy to share my story and thank you for inviting me. That was really awesome the way we met, and I think God wants us to meet and collaborate and for me to be on your platform, but I'm really grateful that you given me this time.

[00:57] Jan: Yeah, it was definitely a God thing, wasn't it?

[01:01] Lena: I love it.

[01:02] Jan: Yeah. Tell us about your accent.

[01:05] Lena: I'm actually rushing from Ukraine, and for a while I was really having a hard time here in Canada explaining people where I come from. But now I realize why. Just like recently I was talking to the gentleman here and I asked him where he's from, and he's like, I'm from the country that doesn't exist. So it finally hit me that I am from the country that doesn't exist because I was born and raised in USSR. So that's why it's hard for me to say that I'm Russian or Ukrainian because I'm kind of neither and both. It's so interesting. So, yes, but in my birth certificate, I am Russian, but I was residing in Ukraine. And when Ukraine claimed the independence and Soviet Union fall apart, I end up in Ukraine. All right, I hope. It's like it's all, I'm Canadian with Russian background, and I came from Ukraine.

[02:11] Jan: Complicated, but at least where you are now is safe, right?

[02:17] Lena: Absolutely. Absolutely.

[02:19] Jan: Yeah.

[02:20] Lena: So many people asking me all these questions about the communism when I was eleven years old when it happened, and now they're asking, I'm for Russians or for Ukrainians. And like, honestly, God, I'm for people who is endowed being collateral damage. I want peace. I. I want peace for all of these people, Ukrainian, Russia and for anyone. I think war is a tragedy on its own.

[02:47] Jan: That is absolutely. So true. So true. Give me a brief description of your journey.

[02:55] Lena: Absolutely. So when my country fall apart, it's actually took really big toll on my parents as well. They already struggled in their marriage. They lost well paid jobs, they became alcoholics, and our home was infested with cockroaches and black mold and, like, mice. And we really struggle in poverty trying to survive. So this discord in the country, discord in my family, there was not really community support or their parents support. And I have, like, home full of strangers who brought booze and drugs, but they actually brought food as well, because that was, for me, an opportunity to eat something. 

So I was hanging around, and that's how from the early age, I became an easy target for those guys. And now my parents know, the government protected me. And I been abused and raped in the basement of my apartment numerous times. So when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I woke up one morning with severe abdominal pain. And I was scared and confused, only to realize I was in labor. And I didn't know I was pregnant. I didn't know who her father was, but I knew that it's gonna be some severe complications for this child because of my lifestyle.

 So my baby died three months later from health complications. So I carry her little casket to this cemetery in my arms. And for next 20 years, this image has plagued my mind and my soul. So I suffer with anxiety, panic attacks, and depression. So I started looking into drugs and alcohol to medicate my pain because I was 15 years old, and it's actually now thinking, like, living in this beautiful country, there was no adult, no, like, authority. No, not anyone partner up with me and say, for example, like, not even partner up, just advocate or stand up for me. Not. Okay.

 The family failed me, but there was the doctors that saw me with broken bones and concussions and then this labor, and it's a small town, really, and the police. I was writing this, you know, I was trying to take those guys to justice, and nobody was believing me. And. And then the baby passed away. There was no grief counseling, no nothing.

 It was so bizarre how, like, everybody failed me at that time. So I was looking for something to kind of, like, rescued me for that peace. And I started using drugs and alcohol because it was temporary relief. And then I found heroin because it was giving me that illusion of peace for a very long time. And I literally never really thought that, like, want to die, but I knew that my life have no worth, no value. So if I don't wake up tomorrow, that everything's gonna be fine for everyone else. Nobody gonna miss me. So, three years I was on heroin. I hardly remember anything, but there was a moment of awakening. Now I know that was God's hand on my life, because I clearly heard this, like, within me, this phrase, you've been made for more. For more. And I'm a street junkie. There is no hopes, no dreams for people like me. But I just start being curious, what is this more? And I saw people dying around me or who went to jail. My friend got shot in the face. They were, like, dying of disease that heroin brought. And I was really tired of this lifestyle.

 So when one of the guys said to me, oh, my goodness, you have to meet this friend of mine. She can help. I thought, oh, my goodness, it's opportunity, you know? And she brought me to her house, offered me this fancy cuff and sweet. And this lady literally looked like a celebrity. She was wealthy, but on another side, too. Like, she was kind and compassionate to me. Like, to street junkie, she literally, like, just play on my basic human needs, to be cared for and belong or something. Like. Something even small that, like, to be fed or to, like, be kind of, I don't know, just story of the leper coming to me. Like, you know, that nobody touched the leper. Like, you have to scream that you unclean. So that's. That's kind of, like, where I was. And she commented with this false kindness, and I agree to anything she asked me to because I thought that was the opportunity to escape life. And she said she gonna be able to help and find me job. And. And they asked me to do a bunch of stuff, and I was curious, what is it? 

And honestly, now I know there was so many red flags, but that time, I was, like, this naive 18-year-old. I actually just turned 18 because that's where they took me to get the passport. And they cleaned me up. They dressed me up like. And now I understand. There are so many things that I was looking for, and that was the red flag. 

But that time, I just was like, okay, they told me to go to embassy. I'm doing. They told me to do this. I'm doing. And I hardly remember. I report. And how I got through customs, I'll never know because I still was really high on drugs. I just one morning woke up hearing this call to prayer, the Muslim call to prayer, Allah ran out. So I realized that this nice, rich looking lady actually sold me into human trafficking into foreign country. So I had, like, withdrawals. I did survive withdrawals. And honestly, before, I was saying, oh, this is me, me. But so many people die from the heroin withdrawal. 

So now I know for sure that it was God's hand on me because I actually recover. And that time we were in Egypt, in Israel, in Egypt, in Cairo, and from Cairo, they forced us to crawl under the barbed wire, to crossing the border illegally into Israel. And in Israel, they sold me into brothel. And actually in the brothel, I had a bodyguard who shared the gospel with me. He actually, when my grandfather had a heart attack, he brought me to Jerusalem to pray at the wailing wall to God. And it was so, like, now I understand how bizarre this grace is that from the brothel, he called me to pray to him. Because when I was getting closer to that wall, I knew, like, this shame, guilt, and condemnation washed over me. I knew people like me don't deserve mercy. I was, like, alcoholic, drug addict, prostitute. But I have the most amazing experience. I do believe, like, I encounter, like, holy spirit through that prayer, because I had so many other experiences like this after I give my life to Christ. So that's what triggered me, actually, to leave, because I was so blown away that this omnipotent God cared for me while I still was a sinner. And honestly, guys like you would never leave this kind of situation alive unless you have been rescued by the grace of God. 

They allowed me to go home. So I came back to Ukraine, and I saved up little bit money. I thought, like, I gonna start a new life. So my trustworthy aunt stole and spent all my money, and one of my other bodyguard, who was like a brother to me, stole all my possessions. So I literally was so betrayed, and I couldn't deal with that anxiety anywhere anyway else. So I went on drugs again, and I was on heroin again.

 So this time, I actually became the right hand of the number one drug dealer in my city. And I thought that's how I would earn, you know, worth and value and influence and riches and all that stuff. And still I had no peace. I've been hunted, you know, for the drugs. Like, I could be murdered. There was no, like, I wasn't safe. I could go to jail and all that stuff

. So this time, second time, I quit called turkey. And this time, actually, I sold myself into trafficking, like, willingly, because I thought, this is gonna save my life. So this time, they actually brought me to Canada. And in Canada, I have an opportunity to start a new life. And I run away, and I live in shelter, and I live. I learned the English from level zero. Then I went to government credit school and learned cosmetology, and I was hairstylist for 16 years. 

And then I have my hair salon for two years. And on the second year in prayer, God said to me, this is not the work you should be doing. So I closed my business right before COVID I published my book, my spiritual autobiography, my journey from hell to heaven. And today I'm a speaker, podcast host and Christian leadership life coach for women. So while I was going to school, I actually met a boy who ended up being a Christian, a pastor son actually. That's who brought me to church. That's where I give my life to Christ through Alpha course in 2011. And then we have our baby girl, then we have our twins. Now we have three kids, dog that actually howling there for attention and two cats. So that's my story in a nutshell.

[14:27] Jan: Oh my gosh. Wow, wow, wow, wow. I can't even believe that you lived through all of that. You know, I just, it comes to my mind is like, can you pinpoint anyone who was praying for you that where God would be drawing you to him?

[14:49] Lena: You know what's interesting? When I was writing that book, because I thought I just gonna write. I started the book. Oh. When I was story and I moved to this new city with my husband and three kids and one of my friends said that I still was a hairstylist and she asked me, is these stories of childhood there? And I actually had a panic attack. I realized that holy spirit asking me to write my life story, not the story of when I give my life to Christ. And it's funny because I was so upset, I said to my husband, I think Holy Spirit tricked me. He told me to ride about the, about my life. And I hear God saying to me, well, you wasn't born a mom with three kids and a husband. And I'm like, oh, you meant whole my life. I thought this life, you know how we try to try to like keep these darkest secrets to ourselves. 

And what's interesting though, that's what I was afraid of. I was asking him, why are you making me do this right now? Because I have this Persona that I created. You know, I am a wife and a mother business owner. I thought I'm gonna bury that past and nobody ever gonna know. But I did say yes to him just to be obedient because he'd been so faithful to me. And he keeps saying to me, just trust me. Like through all of this experience with my book.

 And I went back with him. I had a time and I had put my effort to it. But I kid you not, John, there was no tears of like shame, guilt and condemnation. Because when I give my life to Christ, he like replaced everything with his joy, peace and love and he healed me. And I wasn't a baby Christian. When he called me look bad, he already gave me that new perspective that I am, beloved child of God, that I wasn't abandoned like my father was, the same broken, sinful man. But my heavenly father was always with me from beginning to the end.

 And you know how we're reading this? Well, at least I was reading this passages in the Bible that saying, oh, I need you in your mother's womb. I assumed that Christ met me that time and, like, when I saw his hand. But when I look back and I actually realized when I was very, very young, I was actually looking for him because he was only one place of safety for me when my abusive dad was, you know, tried to punish me for something or something like that. 

And now I realize, looking into that, that time, I realized how broken was my father. But I was praying in the bathroom to God, saying, God, if you dare, I need you to show up for me. I need you to protect me. And it's funny enough, like, every time I look back on my past, I was like. And I was, like, overdosing there. And I screamed to you, please save me or save my sight or something like that. And he always, always and always show up. And that's what was cool, because right in that book, I realized there was no before and after Christ. Because I assume when I baptized, this is my life with Jesus. No, my life started when he created me in my mother's womb and he allowed me to go through, because right now, this is what my passion, my path and purpose. 

That's how I serve him, to help women, to, like, first of all, he. He helped me to overcome, and now he using me as a vessel to help others as well. So it's all part of my story. And that was so amazing, to see his hand everywhere. So, like, if you in the. In the pit of hell, you know that God is with you. That that's my message.

[19:05] Jan: Wow. I just. Yeah. And I think when you write, it was probably very good to write your story because that brought to light so many ways now with your perspective on the other side. We're frozen.

[19:23] Lena: There. Yeah, there was a moment there. There was a moment that you froze. Yeah. Okay.

[19:31] Jan: What I was saying is that by when you. When you wrote your story and you saw the whole picture of everything, I'm sure that's where you started to really see where he was. And even in spite of the horrific things that you encountered or that that happened to you, that still he wasn't causing them. He was still standing beside you.

[19:57] Lena: Oh, absolutely. And you know what else? Like, I realized, I thought, he does this for somebody else. I thought he calling me to write my story so people would see how faithful he is to the sinner. But what's cool about God? And that's what I love him for so much that he first loved us and then he loves others through us because that was, like, such an amazing experience. When the book was done, and I said to my husband, if nobody ever read this book, he changed my life. He, he, like, literally, I saw. I saw my past. Did you hear my, my dog howling?

[20:42] Jan: No.

[20:44] Lena: So funny. She's, like, totally distracting me. And I told my, I my daughter to get her, I don't know why. She hear my voice and she howling. I'm sorry.

[20:55] Jan: It's not up over here. So it's good.

[20:58] Lena: Good. That's like, I'm like, oh, my goodness, I'm gonna be talking. And she's like, keep howling. So, okay, so we start, well, thinking about who.

[21:10] Jan: Who else? I mean, first of all, you were impacted by it. The same thing happened to me when I wrote my memoir. And here's an interesting thing that happened with my memoirs. So I had three kids when my husband died, and my youngest was three at the time. And he's now in his forties, and he does voiceover. And I wanted to do the audio of the book. And so he came up and read his dad's portion of it all through his journal. And as an actor, became his dad. And after he left high school, he probably went to church a handful of times. Not even, you know, so while he was up here at my house, and he went to church with me and loved my church. And. But as he was reading his dad's journal and all the scriptures that were so real to my husband, he had a moment. It was just kind of like a. There's something bigger that I don't know about yet. Right. And to me, it was like afterwards, I thought, isn't it just like God to allow his dad to evangelize him 35 years later?

[22:24] Lena: Beautiful.

[22:26] Jan: Isn't that just. Yeah.

[22:28] Lena: So amazing. Yeah. I love how God works. He has and passion and compassion and grace and mercy. Because honestly, I have so many people asking me how you wake up every morning. Like, honestly, just know that his grace renews every morning for me. Because although I've been Christian already for over ten years, I still know that every morning that I need his grace. And I'm so grateful that he's still healing me, healing my mind, my body, my soul, my brain. You know, he's, he's just amazing. But what some, what he did with my manuscript, he actually healed my past. 

He, he allowed me to see that with a new perspective and to see my parents from a new perspective. Now I'm a mother with three kids just like her and thinking, if I didn't have support on my husband, if I didn't have hot water or the formula to feed my kids, if I didn't have money to feed the kids or, like, build my marriage or any support of my church or my family, honestly, what kind of woman I would be would be like that. And I know by being like, I know who I was before Christ. 

And, oh, my goodness, I saw that. And I saw how hard it was for her. And literally, instead of that, he, that I carry for almost 20 years, I have compassion. But it didn't happen, like, overnight. I literally, when I got to the point when, like, I was talking about my, my family, my parents, and I clearly, like, honestly, it was like my therapy with God because it was between me and him. I wrote that manuscript for three years, and I literally, sometimes it happens. I write for 3 hours. Sometimes I couldn't come to it for months because I'm like, I don't want to talk about it. I cannot talk about it. And in those moments, it was so beautiful that he brought me people who I can trust my fear with. 

He brought me to this conferences. Like, he, like, just loved me and guided me. And then I come back, and then I would write again. So I clearly heard a call, excuse me, for me to forgive my parents. And you know what? If you guys, like, were being offended, especially, like, if it was that painful and I was harboring that heat for 20 years because I needed someone to blame for everything that happened to me, and knowing now that how much I'm protecting my children, I know that they, they failed me, you know, and, and it's become like a security blanket. And now even, like, with Christ, I felt like I give it up. 

But even my husband mentioned, he's like, hmm, I think you should take that to God, because if you would forgive them like you said you did, you would not react like that. So they always have that trigger and that hold on me. And one thing for sure, guys, I didn't want to forgive them. I heard God saying to me, and I just put my foot down and I said, why? Why do I have to forgive them? Look what they did to me. And he said, well, I did forgive you. I said, okay, so I give them grace only because God gave me grace. And still I said to him, how can I do it because I cannot do it. I don't feel it. I cannot do it. I said to him, like, teach me. Show me, like, why? And he said, well, like, first of all, they could abort you, and they kept you. Oh, okay. And I'm like, I do love my life. I'm so grateful that they did not abort me because they actually fall in love and run away and got married. And that's why they had so many problems with their family. Because my dad was older, but my mom got pregnant before wedding, and that time, like, it was taboo. And you're so sorry you have to be, like, modest and all that stuff. And he's like, seven years older, and she just. From school. Like, they so different. So like, their parents. But they still have time there.

That whole lesson about forgiveness is so hard to do. But when you totally got your heart free and clean, wasn't it just a relief?

[27:45] Lena: You know what's interesting? This is. Was amazing part. I assumed. And I think all of us people, like, we think that forgiveness, it's for those people, but actually, forgiveness was for me. Oh, my goodness. I felt like I carried this huge burden on my shoulders for 20 years. I had negative reaction. I have a heart pain every time I talk or think about them. I had no relationship with them. I had all this negative emotion cover parents. And then when. When I just let go and, like, it was a process, it wasn't like that. One by one, like, God led me to actually see.

 For example, he said, with my mother, I have more difficult time than my dad because I believe, like, my dad was a victim of hers as well. So then I literally. I said, okay, so what can I do with my mother? I literally just give it to him. I just. Okay, what do you want me to do? Why. Why can I forgive? Like, what to do and what's. And he said, well, your mother have so many qualities that you admire in yourself. Like, what. And I looked. And before my parents, like, started having this crazy hell, the marriage problems and stuff, there are so many things that I admire in her, and she's. She is like me. And I think when I start looking now, now I'm like her mother of three kids and wife and housekeeper. I'm like, wow, now I understand her. And I probably would be like her, not I wouldn't be like her. Like, in a situation that I would allow this to happen, but I would be selfish, I would be angry. I would be sometimes, like, I'm still is not to that extent, but still I know who I was before Christ.

 And I'm like, if I didn't have Jesus in my heart, I would be probably exactly like her and in that situation. So it's giving me really compassion and grace for her and for my dad, too. So in right before my twins were born, so I got baptized in 2011, and that year I was pregnant with twins and I reconciled with my dad, and he actually miraculously got the cell phone and we start having a conversation, and I led my dad to Christ. So he passed away.

 But it's interesting because my husband says, are you not upset that God gave you your dad for maybe a year and he was gone? I said, are you kidding me? Like, God used me to bring him to heaven. That was, like, the best, like, thing that ever could happen. And it showed me, because I was a baby Christian, how powerful his mercy is. And that's when I learned, actually, I cried in the church to my friend because they were, like, praying for his counselor and stuff. That's another miraculous story. I do believe, like, God was, like, just using me as this vessel to love on this man. And it's interestingly enough that I cry when he passed away and I didn't have the confirmation. And I go to God, like, honestly, I need you to tell me that he's in heaven, that it's all been not in vain. And I apologize. I'm like, I'm a baby Christian. I don't know why I need that. I'm human. I need the proof. But literally right there, I was sitting with my friend who was praying for him, and she said, do you know the story about the thief? Like, on a cross right before Jesus passed away? And. And he said, you're gonna be with me in paradise. I'm like, no, so you don't need to be, like, Christian for a long time, you know?

 So I've learned something about faith. When you confess with your mouth, that means you've been saved. I'm like, okay. Because it's not about the deeds, it's the heart of. I'm like, okay, that's good. So we're going downstairs, and this guy coming up, and he said, Lena, you don't know me, but I am the pastor visiting this church. And he goes, I feel like God asking me to say that your father is in heaven. I was like, are you kidding me? I'm like, how? He's like, oh, actually was talking to your mother-in-law and she was talking how the actually pastor from Canada find him in that village. It's miraculous story and spend day with him and he's like, yeah, I just want to make sure that, you know, that he's in heaven. I'm like, okay, God. So I'm like running to my mother in law to tell her like, oh, my goodness, I just got this confirmation that I've been praying for. And she's like, oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you that. That pastor, my friend told me that after the conversation, like, my father was asking how I pray the prayers of salvation, how I do this, how I do that. And I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, okay. That's like, that was like three out of three. And I have this peace beyond all understanding. I was like, thank you, God. Thank you, God. I know. So I know 100% that my father is in heaven.

[33:25] Jan: So, yeah, I. Yeah, and you may not have had that opportunity had you never had to leave home, you know, I mean, who, who would know?

[33:35] Lena: And you know why he wanted Jesus? Because I was that black sheep that been made white. He's like, what? What is that? Like, who is this God that he can change your life? Because he knew that after what was going on in my family, like, I hit the rock bottom. They knew. They all knew. That's actually like 400 people. They went after Jesus hearing my story of salvation. That's why we are booking testimonies, you know.

[34:06] Jan: My gosh, isn't God good? What are some of your favorite scriptures?

[34:11] Lena: Well, that was like, number one, it's about peace. So Philippians  four nine. And it was interesting because that's what I was looking into, drugs. I was looking into people or something to actually have that word and value and have peace. Because my brain was literally tormenting me. Like, and I know I lived in hell because I have this, like self loathing, self-condemnation. Like, oh, they will have like playground in my brain for a long time. And that's how I get myself anxiety and panic attacks. And like, my heart was in pain. I was like, in my twenties and I was in emergency with my heart pain. It was terrible.

 So I understand. And it was interesting because my friend called me and it's God loves the details because four years prior that, my mother-in-law actually gave me a Bible and I have this Bible and I was going to church here and there with them as well. And when I start going to church and volunteer there as a hairstylist as well for the family day. And she goes, do you have a Bible? I'm like, I think so. She's like, go, I gonna help you to learn how to see divorces and all this stuff. And I go and I look at the Bible and there's my first and last name on the Bible engraved. I'm like, oh, Lou, God knows my name. I was, like, so blown away that I have this book for all this time. And it was actually NIV, the translation that the pastor was preaching. I'm like, oh, my gosh, I can understand this. Yay. And. And she led me into this verse, and it's actually been my life verse because it's, um, it's like my manual for life. You, you have to present your request with the prayer and petition, and God give you that peace beyond on all understanding. And I kid you not, God never refused me peace. If I. I'm calling for peace and I'm like, I don't want to be like this. I need your peace. I need your supernatural power. I need you. Fill me right now and I will gonna take my action. Concentrate on something like praiseworthy and good and all this stuff. I'll do the action. But for now, I need you to show up. 

And I kid you not. All these years that I Christian, I remember, like, even, like, offense over something, like, with my husband, with, like, something argument. And I feel in my body that anger, like, because I. My. It was easy to make my blood boil. And that's how I react because that's how crazy I supposed to be, like, to defend myself and all this stuff. So I have to relearn, like, literally everything, how to behave and social behavior and, like, emotional and, like, mental health. I have to, like, learn so many things. But that verse just told me, like, run there and Christ, like, gonna take care of your heart and mind, and then you will have peace and then you can deal with that. And I remember running to bed and, like, just lay down shaking with adrenaline because I literally want to fight. And I just pray to God, I'm like, I need you right now. I need your peace. And I pray in this verse over me and I just go sleep. And that's how God, like, take care of me. So every time when he calls me or any scriptures that he gives me, I believe it's true because I leave it, you know? And, yeah, that's what he's created you.

[38:03] Jan: A new creation where all things have become new.

[38:07] Lena: Well, this hooligan who was crying finally somehow got into the office. Okay. Destruction. Yes.

[38:17] Jan: How has have your experiences impacted how you are as a parent?

[38:23] Lena: Well, it's very interesting because in the beginning, because I didn't have, like, really good example of the parenthood,  I just chose not to be like my parents. So I always say I'm thankful that my mother taught me how not to be. And interestingly enough, because of the experience, I am overprotective and I am more vigilant and I am little bit more controlling. And so because that was, that was for me to weigh to avoid problems. And it's funny because now I have 16-year-old and eleven year old twins. And so my, my daughter said, I'm grateful that you were really over the top. So we didn't die up to year five because lots of accident happens by the family's negligence. But she's like, lady, you need to relax.

[39:34] Jan: Yeah.

[39:34] Lena: She never said to me, lady, you have to relax. But she said, mom, I feel like I'm engaged. And I was like, it was so eye opening for me because I assume if I give you peaceful home, if I give you clean home, if I give you this protection, if I be by your side and by the grace of God, my husband was supporting me working from home or take some time off. So I would be there at school. So I would be like, rescue them, like, and all this stuff and. But my daughter goes like, mom, this is too much. This is suffocating. And I'm like, what? Like, what? 

And then my husband said, like, yeah, you control it. And I'm like, what? And, yeah. And then working with God, of course, like, he's like, we deal with pride, we deal with this fear, we deal with all those paranoia and. And then he led me to all the professionals just recently, maybe like last ten years, because last, like 20 years ago, we didn't talk about mental health and the human trafficking or something like that, openly or any counseling or something like that. So this is now more acceptable. And that's how I've learned. 

Because no doctor really send me to any, like, to any doctors to check my mental health and see, like, if I have, like, trauma and PTSD. I just maybe ten years, like, I learned that all the stuff that I experienced still didn't disappear. Although I don't feel it. I have peace, but I still have triggers and they still impacting me negatively. So, God, go, like, okay, you need to address. There is the pattern. When you stressed out, you're doing this, and that's kind of like your drugs right now. Like, food, for example, or anger, because, like, you cannot just remove that stuff. It's always, like, replacing with something. And because I wow myself not to use drugs anymore, I've been clean and over, like, now almost 20 years.

 So it has to be, like, replaced with something. So the food was first and then the anger, and God continued to deal with me. And just recently, actually, I was in therapy and counseling and all this stuff and learning about myself. And recently I just met this amazing Christian woman who is like, God is so good. So I was praying, okay, God, like, I'm going to this therapies. I'm paying all this money. I still don't have really result. Like, there's something more, there's something deeper because of the issues that I have. Like, I need something more. I don't know what it is. And it's so interesting that I went to a Christian conference, and I was selling my book, and this lady right across me had a table, and we start talking, and she bought my book. And then we stay in there for lunch, and she coming to me, and she's, like, in distress. She's like, Lina, we need to talk. I'm like, oh, my goodness, what did I do? And she goes, do you know? A few months ago, like, God put it on my heart to create the pilot program for survivors of human trafficking. I actually psychotherapist and nutritionist, and I can help you to create the new neural pathways to heal your brain from trauma. Would you be working with me? I'm like. I'm like, yes, yes. Heal my brain, heal this trauma. Yes.

 And it was such an answer for me for prayer, because she goes to God. I don't know any human trafficking survivor. I don't know even, like, what is it? So she started doing this research, but for me, for last ten years, I'm like, okay, I have this. I need to figure this out. And little by little, I've learned. So by the time she found me, I have, like, so much more awareness about my triggers, my patterns. I can, I can, but I don't have that. Almost, like, exit from this. And I cannot understand what's happening. So now working with her for last four months, oh, my goodness, it was such a huge progress, and I'm so excited to actually for her to finish it's one year program, and, like, so many women can benefit from, like, literally from four months. I'm, like, the most stable I was ever in my life. And, like, no medication. There's like, no, like, it's. It's such a beautiful. It's freedom to finally I feel like myself. And it's so funny because all my life, I was like, oh, this is how I am. That's why. And now I'm better. I'm like, oh, this is how I am.

[44:32] Jan: And now I can.

[44:34] Lena: Yeah. And now, like, I'm so much better. I'm like, oh, this is how I am. I love this. And it was such an amazing experience. And because she's Christian, she's like, you brought Jesus into this situation. I'm like, oh, it's so funny how, like, I miss that part because he's, like, in so many things. And another really cool part, like, like, she. So he's healing my. The way, like, my relationship with food because I had, like, starvation, then overeating, then, like, replacing food with drugs or drugs with food. So many, like, so I don't have, like, really good relationship with food. And it's totally, like, it's part of my mental health, you know? So she's teaching me how to, like, even put food together. It's. It's such a beautiful. The relationship. But when I'm saying to her, she's like, oh, my goodness, Lina, you give me such a good data. The way you speak, the way you understand stuff. It's such a right time for both of us to meet, so it's definitely divine connection. And so cool that I said to her, okay, this is happening. I know this been happening before now.

 It's rare, but that's what is happening. What is this, what to do? And she's like, okay, this is what it is. That's how you deal with. This is what you tell your family. That's how you teach your children. And she gave me those steps, action steps that I'm like, oh, I understand now. I know what. What is happening. And now when it's happening, I know what to do. And they know what to do. And even after almost 20 years, my husband, like, what? That's what it is. I'm like, I know. Like, it. It's so cool that God, like, no, I'm not gonna leave you here. Yes, you do have a freedom, but I gonna make it better and better and better and better. Like, I love it.

[46:32] Jan: So, you know what's interesting to me? It's just always interesting how when you said yes and she said yes to what God works calling. And me too, you know, God calling us to do and the doors that it opens and how he orchestrates people together, and who knows where all of this is going to go to.

[46:53] Lena: Which is what I love it. He pays, he brings the people. He finds the time, he find the connection. He find, like, and he made the way. There is no way. So I love it.

[47:06] Jan: It's amazing. So what would you tell listeners who would want to help with human trafficking? You know, what. What could they do in a practical way to. To help?

[47:21] Lena: Absolutely. Well, number one, I would suggest to partner up with the organizations that's already doing this work. You know, sometimes, like, it's hard to imagine because it's so. It's a global issues. It's. It's so terrible. And sometimes we get, like, paralyzed, like, with this. Not the fear, but like, with this feeling that, like, it's such a drop in the bucket. Our move, like, or our involvement. But I kid you, not every person can do something with what they have. And it can be any money anytime and your efforts and just create the awareness. But people already in your city doing this work, so you're not alone. So I would recommend to partner up with the organization I work with, fight for freedom. It's Christian, nonprofit, and they provide counseling and new skills building for survivors. They do educational programs in schools. So what I do they in 21 city, but it's in my city as well. So I was able to actually lead one of the biggest fundraisers. 

So we walk around our city and we pray and we create awareness. And I was fantastic because, like, I like to be like part of it and hands on, but online as well. I talk about some portions of my book, go there as well to support survivors. So honestly, like, I do believe, like, if you want to have any involvement, there are so many resources, just Google or if you want to help, you can check out all the information on my website because there are organizations that been vetted that I work with. I love them all. They're fantastic. So you can pick, like, maybe somebody's heart gonna be like the nurses fighting against human trafficking or there's another one that, like, in us that children trafficking. So it's so many different ways and we're all different and unique. I love to support women. Maybe you love to support kids. Like, God will give you that calling and that work and just. Just go do a little bit research and you're going to feel that specific calling and definitely, like, you can save someone's life, you can support someone's. You definitely can do something good for someone else.

[49:59] Jan: What kind of things can we look for in young women or kids or whatever? That could be a hint of what's going on in their life.

[50:10] Lena: Absolutely. There's two ways that this can happen. First, it's luring into human trafficking. So they call grooming. So that's what was happening to me in my story with that lady when she was kind and nice to me and she brought me to her house and took care of me. So if you see this young child or somebody in your sphere have, for example, new clothes that they cannot afford, some extra cash that they flush in around some cell phone, new cell phone with this secret boyfriend or something, somebody gonna totally act on their basic needs. You know, they want to be loved, they want to be fancy, they want to be, you know, they going to give them attention. 

So that's how, like, literally now I'm thinking my dad was fisherman and he in his free time, and he was really good. He could get fish anytime. So I remember one of my boyfriends asking him, how, how you get any fish? And he said, the lure have to be so shiny. You know, the fish are not smart. They need to go. But I turn this, like, it's not like we're not smart. We are broken. Our heart is in pain. You know what? What she was, she giving me food and new clothes. And they like, clean me up. Like, they look for that. They look if it's discordant family. That's why they. They look for the areas where low-income family maybe like dad and mom, like, working to provide or maybe they knew immigrants or something like that. So there's something always. But not only that, you know, I do believe dysfunction and abuse. Like, it's one of the things. But the people even like good families and with the good income, you know, like, maybe this child still feel neglected, like, because we still have trauma. Look after Covid, how lonely those poor kids like, and people in general. So they looking for that. They're looking for pain. And that's what they satisfied. So always, like something like the money, the clothes, the affection, like that kind of stuff. If this person starts saying, oh, I have this boyfriend that doesn't want to meet the family, or I have some new friend, he's little bit older, or he gave me this stuff for free, I don't want it. Like, I don't need to do anything. So those kind of things. 

Because the second thing, they try to isolate them from the family and friends because then somebody can speak into their life and actually say that it's not okay. So that's the grooming. But then this depart. When the people already trapped in human trafficking, they, they already paranoid, depressed, they probably gonna be on drugs. They fearful, they anxious, they don't want to be like, for example, they've been like life of the party in your family gathering. And then you, they stop talking to everyone. Don't want to see anything. Like start canceling the appointments and meeting that. That should be a red flag. And honestly don't judge, just ask little bit more questions like, because there can be so many different reason. But if it's consistently start getting depression from nowhere. Start like saying stuff about themselves, you know, because they attack in that worth and value no matter what. Is that Lou? Race, they, they taking them something. For example, young girls, they're asking them to take the nude pictures of something like send me something. And now they just start blackmailing. Like emotional, physical abuse. You know, that's, that's how they hold on to. 

They pray and there's like nowhere to go. They say, I send this to your family, I give that to your dad or send that to your teachers and some stuff like that. So definitely there you have to see if there's like any bruising or like any, any physical abuse signs. If there's any tattoos, especially names, that's the branding. Like they usually put like on the neck or on the hands. So if there's names or something like that, that's definitely a red flag. And if, of course, if you see something like that happening or if you even think that there is possibilities of human trafficking, you have to call 911. I would not recommend to get involved. There's people who actually know how to safely to resolve this situation because you can get even in more trouble. But if it's in your surroundings, please ask questions. If, like you think it's just a teenager or just that, I don't know, 13 years old or whatever, like attitude. No, don't dismiss anything. Just please give them more attention, more care and. And get to the root of the problem. Maybe just something, you know, they going through, but maybe it's something more serious. So, yeah, just pay attention.

[55:36] Jan: Let me ask you a last question. What would you tell those listeners who are caught in the midst of a bad situation like that?

[55:46] Lena: Well, number one, there's always hope. Like honestly, sometimes it's hard to see. Especially like when it's really hard and painful right now, there is always hope. And if you want to get out, you're not alone. There is people who are going to help you get out. If you need to get help, you can call 911. You can even ask someone to help you. You just need to speak up because most of the time, shame and guilt and condemnation actually stopping us from sharing the truth because we think that people can judge and reject and nobody's there and actually traffickers or abusers that usually say that you know that you worth nothing and nobody gonna help you and you're alone and your life is done without me and all that junk like that just totally lie.

 So if you want to get out even today, just call 911 and say I need help. Or if you cannot speak, write the letter and give someone that you trust and led them to take action. Or another thing, I don't know if you know about this science, that's a help sign. If you in public with this person, if you put your tongue in and cover with four fingers, this is already publicly like it's people know that this is help sign. So maybe somebody gonna call 911 for you.

[57:19] Jan: Perfect. Thank you so much. Is there any last thing you'd like to share?

[57:24] Lena: Well, be strong and courageous and your God can be with you wherever you go, you know, because God will never leave you and never forsake you and never give up on you and doesn’t matter what you’ve seen or done, God loves you so much that he died for you a long time ago. So honestly, just if you feel you are not worthy and believe in all these lies, then just give God a chance. Because honestly, he's not like us. He's, he does not judge, he loves and he merciful. So wherever you are in your journey, just go back to him and he can give you peace beyond all understanding. If you have that faith that he will show up for you, he will do it. Listen, he did it for me, he will do it for you.

[58:19] Jan: Thank you so much. This is wow. Just wow. Just shows us again how big our God is and how wonderful he is.